[ An understandable reaction, and one he's seen and heard plenty of times from Ryuji. So when Ren turns his head to meet the confusion, he looks completely unfazed. ]
My mom was trying to set me up again.
[ Ryuji's heard about this more than a few times by now. It takes a lot to get underneath Ren's skin, but this is something that's grown to bother him to the point of mild venting. Truly a feat. ]
I didn't feel like hearing it, so I told her I'm seeing someone already. [ The fact that he didn't think said claim through before blurting it out is implied.
But now, there's clearly more that he does intend to say, though it's one of those rare moments where he seems somewhat unsure of how to go about phrasing it. The ball of his foot taps against Ryuji's knee, a small giveaway of his uncertainty.
Well, better start with the facts. ]
... I told her it's you.
[ And why did he do that? Ren's been asking himself for the past twenty-four hours. On paper, Ryuji's the best candidate: They live together, know almost everything about one another, and will always go out on a limb to help each other. But Ren really should've been smart enough to name someone he doesn't occasionally think about kissing. That's playing with fire.
When doesn't he go that route, though? It's like his brain is trying to make up for the lack of high stakes adventure in his life these days. ]
(there's a swarm of conflicting emotions ryuji has to deal with now that ren dropped a truth bomb like that. he's absolutely overjoyed ryuji was the first person he thought of as a candidate for dating, but at the same time, so terrified about the implications it could have. does ren feel the same? was it just for convenience's sake? or is it really just as simple as ryuji being the easiest one to lie about?
rather than try to deal with all his overwhelming thought ryuji ops for the simple route of choosing one thing at a time and dealing with them in that order.
so hearing that ren's mother is, once again, nagging him for something as useless as dating has him rolling his eyes, along with a downright ignored ugh.) Seriously? Is she still going on about the "starting a family" bullshit?
(with every conversation about ren's mother, ryuji constantly wonders why there aren't more mothers like his own. she's supportive of everything he does, always trying to do better for him, and ren deserves all that and more.
and there's truly no better support for a young boy in agonizing love than an understanding and gentle mother. he's lost track of how many times she's listened to him struggle through his feelings regarding ren.
speaking of which, he still has to find a way to answer the other half of this. it still gives ryuji more joy to know that he was ren's first choice for dating partners to get his mother to shut up. hell, it almost brings a soft blush to his cheeks.
as ren's foot taps his knee, it helps him come up with a sort of thought process. asking if it means anything would make their whole relationship too awkward to ever repair, but just ignoring it won't make the problem go away. ryuji lets out a long, contemplative hum, before turning to ren with his chin resting in his hand.) So... what do you want to do? I'm guessing telling her the truth would just make it worse.
(might as well add fuel to the fire, see where ren wants to take this. it's not like ryuji's heart can get anymore broken after already knowing the feelings would never be mutual.)
[ See, people don't give Ryuji enough credit. They see the blond hair and the surly expression and assume he's a delinquent with no emotional capacity, hear the way he speaks and assume he's an idiot. Even if Ren and their friends give him a hard time occasionally, they know there's a lot more to Ryuji than meets the eye. Like now, when he can see right into the heart of the issue.
If Ren comes clean, it would only make her feel like she's more justified in her line of thinking. There's always the option of avoiding speaking to her, but... for all that he feels like they don't truly understand him, he doesn't want to stop trying to build what he never had when he was younger.
Now that he's about to come out with the rest of his thoughts, he shifts, sliding his feet down to the floor so that he can sit up properly—or about as properly as he ever does, slouching a bit into the cushions as he glances at the television. ]
I was thinking that we could fake it. Just enough to convince her that it's real.
[ Enough to get her to drop the subject and let him carry on with his life in that regard, at least. ]
It's fine if you're not up for that, though. [ Ren meets his eyes now, offering him a half-smile to reassure that he really would be okay with that. ] I know it's a weird request.
(ryuji wonders if that's the option he was hoping for, because when ren suggests it, he's not nearly as shocked as he would be, instead almost anticipating it. sure, it's definitely an option one could bring up, but it's never the first. in fact, not many people ever bring up the notion of fake dating.
then again, ryuji and ren have never really been "normal people", even before the phantom thieves. so while it's a different kind of bizarre, it's not something ryuji is inherently opposed to.
but he won't lie to himself. the idea of dating ren, even if it's all just for show, fills him with a bit of joy he hasn't felt in quite some time.
now fully ignoring his show, he leans back into the couch in a similar manner with a sigh. all he can do is shrug.) Dude, we lived weird for months. Pretending to date is probably the least weird thing we've done this year.
(he says while his heart is still dealing with those pesky conflicting emotions. half of it is breaking, half of it is soaring. he'll get to date ren, but only in appearances.
the much easier option is to instead focus on how all of this is going to affect ren's mom. this is some sweet, delicious revenge for all the bullshit ren's on own family put him through. ryuji is admittedly a little angrier than he should be, but that's likely to happen when the person you love the most is still dealing with backlash on things that weren't his fault.
ryuji gets downright devious, letting out his usual cocky laugh when he comes up with a good plan or gets the drop on a shadow.) Plus, it'll be a good little payback for her. She tells you to start dating, and you pick the one guy who has the delinquent look down perfectly. D'you think she'll be more horrified, or disgusted?
(he's no stranger to his own appearance, more than aware of how he looks and comes off to people. and while it might be a little self-deprecating, if he can use people's skewed perception of himself to his advantage, especially for ren, he won't hesitate.)
[ Why did he think the answer might be anything else? Ryuji has never once turned down a request to help him with something, no matter how stupid it is. Ren releases an amused exhale, mostly at himself for even thinking his best friend might leave him to figure it out himself.
Then that hint of a smile is twitching wider at the sound of Ryuji's laugh. ]
More disappointed than anything, probably. [ That seems to be the overarching theme of their feelings towards Ren. Maybe that's why he feels like he can run with this ridiculous idea—he's already so used to that sort of reaction to his decisions.
But now that he can actually allow himself to consider this plan on a deeper level than "what if," Ren twists a curl of hair around his finger as he thinks. ]
At first I thought about just staging some pictures, but I don't know if that will be enough… She might have to see it in person to be convinced.
[ A prospect that leaves his lips pressing into a thin line. Introducing Ryuji to his parents isn't exactly something he's been eager to do. For all that Ren loves them, they're the kind of people who will take one look at him and make snap decisions. ]
(ren and ryuji are at that point in their relationship where there's very little they'd refuse each other on. they risked their lives together in hoping to steal the hearts of corrupt and twisted adults in society. tricking ren's parents so they'll leave him alone? possibly stressful, but not the sort of thing ryuji would abandon ren to alone.
while in the past, ryuji might have been offended at the idea that more adults would be disappointed in him at only a glance, snap judgments that shine ryuji in a bad light no matter what he does, now he finds himself hardly caring. sure, it still gets under his skin, but he doesn't let the opinions of others get to him as much.
why should it? everyone who knows the real him accepts him and loves him for who he is. and that's more than he ever thought he'd get.
knowing for certain ren's parents will be disappointed has him grinning wider, already cooking up a few schemes to really sell it.) Then let's go for gold. I can get a fake tattoo and pretend I'm part of the yakuza. Scare 'em shitless a bit.
(should he really be talking about his romantic interest's family this way, probably not. but did they start it by giving unrealistic and forced expectations on a son who's trying to do the right thing? absolutely.
but when ren gets to talking about how it might have to be faked in real time, that's when ryuji gets a little more nervous. not for any reasons of being nervous they'll get caught in a lie, but that they won't. that ren's parents will find out ryuji is actually in love with him. it's the ultimate bad end. how would they react? would they even be able to do anything? would ren be so disgusted, he'd ditch ryuji immediately?
okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch, even ryuji knows it. but feelings are messy, complicated, and sometimes terrifying things. he tries to brush off his own paranoia by humming thoughtfully, sinking further into the couch as he racks his brain for a solution.) How far are you willing to take it? Just show me to your parents and be like "hey see we're a couple, bye". Or like kissing 'n shit?
[ The light-hearted suggestions draw a chuckle from his throat. They dropped contact with him for almost a year for an assault charge—if his parents were to think he's dating a yazuka member, they might disown him on the spot. Which really isn't that funny of a thought, but Ryuji's mischievous grin makes brings some humor to it anyway. ]
I'm trying to convince them, not give them heart attacks. [ The words are light and unperturbed, though.
And then Ryuji brings up a good point. How far is he willing to take this? How far does he need to? There's really no telling on the latter, but Ren can't say that he's opposed to the idea of kissing Ryuji. Not at all. It's just that doing it under false pretenses and secretly getting enjoyment out of it seems kind of…
Yeah.
But if Ryuji is the one bringing it up, would he really mind that much…?
Ren shakes the thought loose so that he can focus on responding. ]
I don't think just introducing you would be enough. [ If anything, that might make her more doubtful. Like he's trying to prove it without anything substantial to back it up. They already know Ryuji exists and that they're close enough that he would probably agree to something like saying he's Ren's boyfriend if asked. They have to make it seem like something they wouldn't go as far as to fake.
Damn it, his mind keeps coming back to kissing. ]
We'd have to sell it. [ Make it seem like it's second nature. ] Like it's just how we act around each other. So things like touching each other and the way we look at each other and—maybe kissing when they think we think they're not looking.
(at least they can laugh about the situation, if nothing else. ryuji is far more frustrated at ren's parents and their lack of understanding and acceptance than he lets on. they shouldn't get to just ignore their own son for an entire year for doing the right thing and being unjustly punished, then turn around and try to dictate his life when it's convenient for them.
maybe the phantom thieves should make one last appearance to change the hearts of the amamiya parents.
but rather than voice his immediate disdain for ren's family, he instead gives a dramatic sigh, almost let down he won't get to use his delinquent act for once. maybe someday.
the more ren schemes out their "relationship", ryuji finds himself more and more conflicted. it's less like a fake dating trick and more like a lifestyle lie. can he handle that, emotionally? it's a bit more drastic than just simply faking it, it's like he'll be lying to himself every day.
it's getting too exhausting to think about now, and ryuji has always been one to act rather than overthink everything. so with one fluid motion, ryuji wraps an arm around ren's shoulders, tugging him down as ryuji lets himself fall to the shoulder of the couch. with ren resting comfortably against his chest, he raises up his other arm to embrace him, chin nuzzling ren's fluffy head of hair. and maybe lowkey smelling it with a devilish grin on his face.) So, like this, huh?
(it's said calmly, while his heart is damn near pounding out of his chest the way he dreams about pounding ren someday. that's probably crossing a line, one he could never come back from, though.
however, learning all the lengths ren is going to just to get his parents off his back concerns ryuji. his smile slowly fades, looking down at the one person who gives his all in everything he does, not matter the toll it takes on him.) Hey... this might be none of my business, so if you want me to but out, just say so.
(his voice dips oddly serious for once, a surprisingly thoughtful hum is let out as he struggles to figure out how to word this.) I get they're your parents and all, but if you have to go through all this to get them to, I dunno, accept or approve of you... is it really worth it? Are they really worth it? It's... mmm.
(ryuji holds ren tighter, eyes narrowing as he remembers things he'd rather not.) My mom was kinda like that. With my dad. She'd try to make him happy so he wouldn't... y'know. It took her a long time to remember she and I needed to be happy, too. I just don't want you to spend all this time and energy trying to reconnect with your parents if it's just sucking the happiness out of you. I...
(emotional honesty has never really been his strong suit, not unless it was justified rage or joyous hunger. the words come out quiet, the most upfront he's ever been with ren.) I don't want to see you get hurt, dude.
[ The loop of an arm pulling him in is unexpected, but Ren doesn't fight it, only lets himself be drawn down against Ryuji's chest. It's not the sort of skinship they usually engage in, but it's... nice, for sure, the solid line of Ryuji's body beneath him, voice vibrating through him as his chin moves against his head. ]
Yeah, kind of like this.
[ The surprise melts from his limbs as he relaxes into the hold. The sudden change in tone soon has him going still again, though. Ryuji rarely takes on this quality to his voice, only reserved for the most serious of occasions. It's even more unusual for him to talk about his father; Ren listens quietly, tucking one arm against Ryuji's side to get more comfortable in the position. ]
... They're my parents. [ Which is exactly the line of thinking that he's being cautioned against, but still.
A few years ago, he might've felt differently, but after supporting so many friends through the loss or absence of a parent, Ren can't bring himself not to try with his own. He's too lucky to have two healthy parents who care about his wellbeing, as misguided as their concern often is, to take it for granted. ]
It's actually not that bad. My relationship with them is better than it's been in a long time. It's just this one thing... [ He sighs softly. ] They want what's best for me, they just don't really know me.
[ They barely knew about him as a person before the assault charge. By the time he got back from his time in Tokyo, which grew him as a person immensely, he might as well as have been a stranger.
Turning a bit, Ren rests his chin on Ryuji's chest so that he can look up at him. ] I thought that if they saw me happy with a decision of my own, they would understand. But maybe this is too much.
(ren not making any effort to pull away or break the embrace makes ryuji's heart soar, a promising sign that if they have to fake the physical affection aspect that much, at least ren won't be disgusted. maybe this won't be the stupidest thing he's ever done. if they could just stay like this, comfortable, close, honest, ryuji would never ask for anything else.
part of him is kicking himself for taking advantage of ren when he needs ryuji's help the most. he's never talked about his family much at all, and this is the one time ren asked for his help dealing with them. and yet here he is, pretending to gauge what sort of affection they'll need to perform when really, ryuji just wanted to hold ren more than anything.
ann was right, he really is a pervert.
but being so emotionally vulnerable, even in private, has him not wanting to let go of his support. he'd love nothing more than to run his fingers through that too fluffy hair, kiss the top of his head, anything. ryuji never realized how badly he wanted this until the option to experience it was put in front of him. and he never knew the thought of it all being fake would hurt this much.
when ren responds to his concerns, ryuji pushes his feelings out of mind, listening intently to his reasoning for trying. though, there's one thing he can't help but chuckle softly to.) Dude, them being your parents is exactly what I want you to be careful about.
(he goes quiet once more as ren continues, unsure if the situation is supposed to be as complicated as this. ryuji understands family troubles, probably more than people really know. but not enough to understand the reasoning behind faking a boyfriend.
ryuji hopes there's no blush on his face when ren turns to look at him, the entire scene so domestic and homey, it's hard for his brain to stay on track. taking one arm away, ryuji scratches the back of his neck, thinking of the best way to ease ren's worries.) Look, maybe I just lucked out with my mom being as great as she is, so I don't really know about this stuff. But I think you're in the right place. You gotta show your mom she doesn't need to do anything for you, that you can figure this out on yourown. Love's a pretty big deal, y'know? So, maybe you need to do something pretty big to get her to realize that.
(being selfish again, just for a brief moment, to indulge himself, ryuji reaches up to playfully ruffle ren's hair. it's so much softer than he thought, it gives him a bit of peace, smiling at ren once more.) I'll help you out no matter what it is, dude. I got your back.
[ He doesn't like asking for help, and he's never enjoyed speaking about the heavier feelings that weigh on his mind, but Ryuji makes it bearable. It feels okay, shifting this burden between them, because he knows that Ryuji will bear it with him.
It's rare enough for Ren to second guess himself, the act shaky at best. Ryuji's hand mussing up his hair dispels the tenuous sense of doubt in one swift motion. So what if the idea is ridiculous? It's just a bit of work for what will hopefully be a lifetime of peace on that front—and it won't even really be work if it's with Ryuji.
He meets the smile with a quirk of his own lips. ]
Thanks, Ryuji. [ Somehow, he always knows what to say to set Ren's thoughts back on track. Ryuji's probably the only person with a more straightforward view of things than his own, and it shows at times like this.
A hand plants onto the couch and he pushes himself up from his friend's chest, looking down at him as he does so. ]
(ryuji was going to respond, say something sentimental, something cool. but between that smile and the way ren pushes himself above ryuji and oh god, this feels like the perfect time to just lean up and kiss him.
he should focus on anything else, anything, the way ren puts so much trust in him, how ryuji was the one he went to. not ann, or makoto, or haru, all of whom would have been much better candidates for fake partners. no, ren went to ryuji because they're best friends and ryuji can't betray that bond by imagining what a good kisser akira is.
there's no controlling the blush this time, a soft pink dusting his cheeks as ryuji awkwardly looks for an out.) W-Well, y'know, best friends 'n all. Should at least be here when you need me, right?
(yeah, that is totally the reason he's going with. he'll pretend to be ren's boyfriend because he's a good friend and ren needs his help. yeah. he can totally do that.
and the only reason ren thought of him first is because they're best friends. it's not because ren was thinking of the person he liked. ryuji isn't allowing himself any room for hope, not when they've just further solidified their relationship and trust in one another. wrecking that with ryuji's more complicated feelings would only strain what they have, and he has no interest in losing the best person in his life.
after his mom, of course.
eventually, he sits up, hoping to get out of a position that will make him want to kiss ren... but that only gets them both on equal eye level, and ryuji is no further away. well. guess he'll die.
he clears his throat for what seems like no reason, just trying to get the embarrassment out of his system.) S-So... what now? We're doing this, so we gotta think up a plan.
[ When Ryuji sits up, it somehow puts them in an even closer proximity, sitting closer on the couch than friends have any right to. Part of Ren's brain tells him to close the gap; a just as sizable portion demands that he put some more space between them. In the end, though, he stays put, sinking back comfortably against the cushions. After all, this is the sort of thing that's about to become normal for them.
Ryuji sounds vaguely flustered by the whole thing, but that's a given, isn't it? It's a strange situation, and how much dating experience do either of them actually have? Ryuji talks a big game, but Ren is close enough to him to know that it's often just that. As for himself, he's always poured more time into things like school and jobs and friendships to pursue anything romantic past a few dates. The easy, natural affection that comes with a long-term relationship would be completely new to Ren.
But if he can do it with anyone, he thinks it would be Ryuji. Being around each other is already second nature. ]
Wow. I never thought you'd be the one telling me we need a plan. [ It's something light and teasing to hopefully dispel some of the nerves between them.
Ryuji is right, though. Ren leans his head back against the couch, eyes drifting thoughtfully to the ceiling. ]
I can make plans with her for us to come visit one weekend. That would give us time to practice. [ He pauses, going back to a previous idea. ] We could stage a few pictures for good measure.
(he's more than vaguely flustered, having ren so close and talking about all they'll need to do to start "dating". ryuji hates himself for it, but he just wants to know when they need to practice kissing. or touching. or what sort of dates they can plan, how to handle birthdays, holidays, if they'll still be doing this by then. ryuji, more than anything, just wants to be with ren.
it's one thing to think about being with a cute girl, it's another thing entirely to start a fake relationship with the hottest guy you know and who you dream about kissing more than any girl on the planet. yeah, ryuji's got it bad and he'll never admit it.
the banter does help settle his nerves, once it does hit him that he has, in fact, been trying to steer this disaster into some sort of plan to help cover all their bases. he chuckles quietly, collapsing back on the couch.) Because for once, you didn't. Looks like the leader lost his cool.
(it's not as big of a deal as ryuji makes it out to be, since it was something bound to happen at one point or another. despite how ren seems, ryuji knows there's only so far his patience can take him. no one can be perfectly cool and collected all the time, they'd snap. like ren did.
really, though, ryuji is a little glad ren was able to snap and make some bad choices. having to constantly know which choice is the best one can be frustrating, and if ryuji can ease a little of that burden, he'll do it no questions.
while ren is looking at the ceiling, ryuji occasionally steals sidelong glances, for no reason other than he just wants to see ren's face.) Okay, that's the thing I got questions about. When you say "stage pictures", do you mean like fake dates? Or us just hanging out in our apartment? Posting anywhere?
[ Ren allows a sidelong look of his own at the questions, leaving his head leaned back as he does so. ]
Either's fine as long as they look natural. [ As for the last part, though... ] We don't have to post them anywhere.
[ It's not like Ren's parents are on social media, after all, and he doesn't want to make things weird for Ryuji by posting pictures that make them look like a couple. Ren doesn't intend for this to leave any lasting impression on Ryuji's love life. It's enough that he's going out of his way to help like this; they don't need to do anything that will raise questions with Ryuji's friends or potential suitors.
There's just... something about that thought that bothers him. Ren pushes it down and continues on. ]
I could send them or we could just show them while we're there. [ It should be easy enough to have what they've been up to surface in conversation, and oh, Ren even has a picture, would they like to see? The months of telling smooth lies as a Phantom Thief prepared him for that much, at least.
Now, they just need some scenarios that would clearly imply dating. ]
Maybe something like a date at Destinyland? We can even get matching headbands... [ Okay, maybe he just wants to see Ryuji in one again. The last memory of it was pretty severely soured, after all. ]
(he lets out a quiet sigh of relief at not having to actually post anything. his mother isn't as avid on social media as ryuji is, but she does occasionally check up on him to make sure she isn't missing anything big. and her seeing their "relationship" would only complicate matters when it would inevitably end. she'd be crushed.
almost as much as ryuji is going to be. but that little part of ryuji... he wants it to be public, to be real. more than anything.
to make conversation easier, he turns on the couch to fully face ren, fist resting against his head while his face scrunches up in thought.) Mmm... sending them sounds kinda like how you said it'd be for introducing me. Y'know, them just thinking you're trying to prove something?
(but all of a sudden, he shoots up to an oddly straight posture, snapping his fingers and waving his hand animatedly as he tries to make a point.) Oh! What if we stage pics and put 'em around the apartment? That way when she visits, she can see the proof without us having to shove it at her.
(broke: tricking ren's mom into buying their relationship
woke: ryuji gets to see pictures of him dating ren every day
he tries not to wince at the suggestion of destinyland, already remembering things he'd rather not. but this time has to be different, right? the phantom thieves are done. there's no risk of mental breakdowns or live television murders.
think happy thoughts. ren wearing one of the headbands. ren picking one out for ryuji.
ren. just ren.) Okay, but if I find out you posted it to the group chat, I'm breaking up with you.
(he wouldn't, he'd never, he can't. his talk is big but his walk is weak shit.) Man, I gotta be honest. I dunno what couples really do. They say sappy shit, kiss a lot, that's kinda the extent of my knowledge. Don't tell anyone.
[ There's a thoughtful hum, a much more mild reaction to the idea than Ryuji's, though Ren's eyes are bright as he agrees. ] That's a better idea.
[ Ryuji is right that it would seem more natural that way. They wouldn't need to overdo it, either. Just a few placed around the apartment would probably be enough to sell it.
That he agrees to go along with the date idea brings out a smile. Even without the pretense of it being a date, Ren knows that he and Ryuji would have a good time going there together. Ride some roller coasters, eat some severely overpriced theme park food, watch the fireworks together before catching a late train home.
... Maybe that does sound like a date, after all. This might be even easier than he thought. ]
Don't worry, I'll only make it my phone wallpaper.
[ Ren turns into a similar position to face Ryuji, twirling a curl of hair around his finger with a mock-innocent look that melts away with the following admission. ]
I don't know that well either. [ It's not something he's ever experienced himself, but he's read books and seen plenty of romance flicks with Ann, enough that he thinks he can piece something convincing together. ] But we'll figure it out. That's what the practice is for.
(oh, and he's trying not to let the praise make his heart swell too much. he's always weak to that, ren giving him praise for whatever reason, no matter how casual it is. there's a lot to unpack there, and it's certainly not something ryuji can think about when they're concocting schemes to trick ren's mother.
it's a little sad in a way, that ryuji is already mentally planning which pictures should go where. fancy date nights should be in more public areas, like the sitting room, but close and casual ones should be kept in the study, where you only go if you have a purpose.
and now that they're apparently planning a date (a date) to destinyland, ryuji is absolutely dragging ren to a corny photobooth, desiring nothing more than a string of photos to keep inside his wallet at all times.
for the facade, of course. no other reason.
but then ren teases about making it his wallpaper and oh god, that's a perfect thought, ren keeping a personal photo of ryuji on him, something he'd no doubt look at every day. and it gives him ideas.) Y'know... that's not a bad idea. Couples do that shit, right? Wallpapers of each other.
(ryuji says as if he doesn't have a locked photo album on his phone of ren smiling that he looks at whenever life starts to crush him.
a smile grows on his face as ren reassures him that they'll work it out. they've faced the most twisted desires known to man, greed, lust, god complexes, literal gods. how hard can it be to trick a mom?) That actually makes me feel a little better. You're always so... well, cool. If you said you had like ten girlfriends in high school, I'd have believed you.
(but that does make him think... ren is undeniably popular. he managed to create a diehard team of friends who'd risk their lives for each other on a daily basis. half of whom are girls.
very beautiful, successful girls.
any one of them would have been a superior candidate for a fake partner. they're all beautiful, intelligent, strong, capable, already have their lives planned out. or mostly do. but ryuji? he's still treading water, struggling to figure out his place once again.
his face falls slightly as his thoughts run rampant once again. he's gone back and forth on dating ren so many times, ryuji isn't sure if he'll even be able to go through with it at this rate.) But... are you sure you wanna do this with me? You've got friends like Ann and Makoto. They've both got way more going for 'em than I do. Hell, you just gotta say you know Haru and that'll please your parents probably for the rest of your life.
(he rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit he's never dropped, along with the fast tapping of his foot.) You can always just back out from me. Aim a little higher. That's never been a problem for you. (he laughs, lighthearted and teasing, but he's bracing for heartbreak once ren realizes there's better options for fake partners.)
[ Ryuji's comment is flattering, really. Maybe he was trying to be cool back during his year in Shujin (a new life and a failed first impression—why wouldn't he try to exude a better aura?), but a lot of it was just incidental. Perhaps being a nationally known thief off school hours adds a certain swagger to one's step. Making friends with a bunch of older women and an ex-yakuza member probably helped, too.
But Ren's face falls as Ryuji continues. Well, maybe not falls, but it shifts into the neutral default that he typically wears, the one he allows his emotions to shine through more often with Ryuji. ]
I'm not going back on this. I made up my mind.
[ It once again begs the question, though, of why his mind never considered any of their other friends before it hopped right to Ryuji, without even looking back. And now that their qualifications as partners are being brought up… Ren still doesn't feel like he could've made any other choice that than the one he did. ]
Besides… Ann is the worst actress I've ever met. [ He loves her, but… really. ] Makoto would just tell me to handle it properly. [ Plus they already pretended to date once before to get information on her friend's boyfriend. Asking to reprise that would probably give off the wrong impression. ] And Haru would be even more unbelievable. [ They'd love her, but nabbing the heiress of a fast food fortune would be an even harder sell than dating Ryuji.
But most importantly: ] What's wrong with dating you, anyway? You're honest and hard-working. And I've seen how much you do for your mom. You're a good son. Anyone would be lucky to date you, Ryuji.
[ Ren deflates a little after he wraps up the sentence. It's—a lot more than he usually says in one go, but seeing Ryuji put himself down gets him riled up. Why can't he see himself the way Ren sees him? ]
(there's a conviction in the way ren speaks, one ryuji has only ever heard with joker. the way he talks as if not only was ryuji the best choice, but the only choice ren wanted to go with.
and ryuji really does not want to even think about how excited this gets him. it's not every day he gets praise like this, especially from ren, who's offering it so openly and freely. blood rushes straight to his face, getting him bright red and burning hot within moments and leaving ryuji completely unable to look ren in the eye.
by this point, ryuji can't even care how much his heart will get broken by the end of their "relationship". ren is here, right now, praising ryuji in a way he never has. it's got him completely wrapped around ren's finger, willing to do anything and everything for him.
he keeps his face hidden, turned away as he rubs the back of his neck and tries not to smile too hard. but he is.) J-Jeez, why don't you tell me how you really feel.
(it's all he can say on the matter, too worried that if ren keeps going, ryuji won't be able to hide his feelings anymore. and won't that just make everything awful.
but he figures the least he can do is ease any concerns ren might be having, despite ryuji spending most of their conversation assuring ren he's down with this.
plus, it's just good manners to return a compliment.) You're not a bad catch yourself. I can think of way worse people to fake date, and at least it'll be fun with you.
Ren is still a little wary, under the surface. The fact that he questioned the arrangement a couple of times despite the reassurances and seemed to be showing some of his nervous tics implies that there might still be some hang-up over it there. For now, though, he can take it at face value.
That means allowing a teasing grin to peek through. ] That's so sweet, honey.
[ The endearment falls from his lips easily, playful, maybe because it's something he has no intention of utilizing in their fake dating charade. They don't seem like the type to use such stereotypical pet names with each other, especially in front of other people. ]
It'll be so fun, I'll ruin you for all future fake boyfriends. [ This friendly banter is familiar. Ren settles into it, pushing his glasses up his nose to hide the glint in his eye. ]
(he's still plenty wary, a nagging little voice in his head telling him this can only end badly. but who gives a shit? ren is here, telling ryuji he'd be an amazing boyfriend to anyone, how wonderful of a person he is. why wouldn't he agree to anything ren says after this?
especially when ren is being dumb and calling him honey. it's sickeningly sweet and stupid all at once, and though ryuji tries to keep his laughter bottled up, a few muffled chuckles breaking out, it's only moments before he's clutching his sides, laughter echoing through the room.) D-Dude, did you seriously just call me honey?
(he doesn't mean to laugh as loud and full bodied as he is, but with everything pent up inside him, plus ren delivering that line with his usual monotone voice leaves him in stitches.
ryuji isn't quite sure if he even liked it or not, not sure if that's going to be a thing when they get the actual relationship going. what he knows for sure is ren calling ryuji's own name gets a much stronger reaction from him.
his laughter dies down after a while, his face still flushed, a smile plastered on his face and refusing to go anywhere. shining just for ren. just because of ren.
and it's more than a relief to know despite the weird change in their lives, ren is still willing to banter with ryuji. still tease, make shitty jokes. nothing is really changing. what was he so worried about?) You're going to spoil me, and anytime someone needs me for fake dating, it just won't be the same.
[ Somehow, with Ryuji cracking up, it's even easier to adopt a deadpan expression, though it eventually cracks as the laughter continues on. The brightness in Ryuji's eyes just confirms that he chose the right person to be his partner in this scheme. It really will be fun, even if it's going to be a serious test of his own patience and restraint. ]
It'll be the fake romance of a lifetime. [ With a soft laugh, he turns, leaning back against the cushions again. Whatever happens, it'll be memorable, won't it?
Ren's gaze flickers over the television, not quite paying attention to what's happening on the screen when his brain is too busy trying to lay out the skeleton of this plan they've entered into together. ]
Really, though... No weird pet names. [ That would give them right away.
And that brings to mind another point, something they should probably discuss before they actually get into any of this: ] Actually... Is there anything you definitely don't want to do or say? We should get that out in the open right now.
[ The last thing he wants to do is make Ryuji uncomfortable by taking it too far at the wrong time. ]
(his laughter eventually begins to die down, jokingly giving ren a shove as he keeps the joke going. it's easy, it's comfortable, it all calms his raging nerves about pretending to date the guy he's in love with. he can always freak out about it later, but for now, ryuji might as well just take it in stride.
ryuji is ignoring the show altogether at this point, his focus solely on ren, giving him another playful nudge.) I'm still calling you Renren. You can't take that away from me.
(ren bringing up the topic of boundaries, however, gets ryuji to stiffen a little bit. there's nothing ryuji can imagine saying 'no' to, welcoming any touch or sweet phrase. even if he's not sure ren is the type to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. is ryuji the type to want those? man, fake dating is hard.
he scratches the back of his neck while his face scrunches up in thought. they aren't really things he wants to bring up, but...) I mean... I guess all I can say is my dad 'n Kamoshida? I know you'd never bring those up on your own, I don't mean it like that. Just that... people always bring it back to my mom, yeah? They can say whatever shit they want about me, but not my mom.
(he hunches over a bit, worried how all of this could affect her in the long run. she's never pressured him to get a partner or anything like that, but he's seen the looks in her eyes whenever he hangs out with the girls.) I wanna avoid getting my mom involved in this, if I can.
[ As if he would ever take away the nickname Ryuji gave him so long ago. It was the first time they really connected over something, wasn't it? Besides, it's the kind of cute but personal thing that might actually help their case.
Ren's expression darkens slightly at the mention of Kamoshida and Ryuji's father. He knows those topics are off limits, but it's the sort of thing that his parents might bring up in conversation, wanting to hear about Ryuji's parents or his perspective on the scandal that went down at Shujin. He knows they wouldn't pursue it in a malicious way, but they have a hard time reading the room, and both topics tend to spark Ryuji's temper and tank his mood.
It's a recipe for disaster, really, but one Ren is prepared to mitigate as needed. ] Alright. If those come up, let me handle it.
[ A little more surprising is Ryuji's preference to keep his mother out of this… completely? She's always been more accepting than the average parent, so Ren can't imagine she would be that bothered by their arrangement if she knew the reasoning behind it. But perhaps Ryuji knows something he doesn't, and Ren will be damned if he's not going to respect his best friend's wishes. ]
We'll keep your mom out of it, too. [ Ren reassures him of that fact with a smile and briefly considers grabbing Ryuji's hand along with it to practice the gesture. Something about it feels like the right moment, but there's a little voice in the back of his head telling him not to cheapen a serious conversation. He crosses his arms over his front to contain the urge. ] Then we're good?
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My mom was trying to set me up again.
[ Ryuji's heard about this more than a few times by now. It takes a lot to get underneath Ren's skin, but this is something that's grown to bother him to the point of mild venting. Truly a feat. ]
I didn't feel like hearing it, so I told her I'm seeing someone already. [ The fact that he didn't think said claim through before blurting it out is implied.
But now, there's clearly more that he does intend to say, though it's one of those rare moments where he seems somewhat unsure of how to go about phrasing it. The ball of his foot taps against Ryuji's knee, a small giveaway of his uncertainty.
Well, better start with the facts. ]
... I told her it's you.
[ And why did he do that? Ren's been asking himself for the past twenty-four hours. On paper, Ryuji's the best candidate: They live together, know almost everything about one another, and will always go out on a limb to help each other. But Ren really should've been smart enough to name someone he doesn't occasionally think about kissing. That's playing with fire.
When doesn't he go that route, though? It's like his brain is trying to make up for the lack of high stakes adventure in his life these days. ]
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rather than try to deal with all his overwhelming thought ryuji ops for the simple route of choosing one thing at a time and dealing with them in that order.
so hearing that ren's mother is, once again, nagging him for something as useless as dating has him rolling his eyes, along with a downright ignored ugh.) Seriously? Is she still going on about the "starting a family" bullshit?
(with every conversation about ren's mother, ryuji constantly wonders why there aren't more mothers like his own. she's supportive of everything he does, always trying to do better for him, and ren deserves all that and more.
and there's truly no better support for a young boy in agonizing love than an understanding and gentle mother. he's lost track of how many times she's listened to him struggle through his feelings regarding ren.
speaking of which, he still has to find a way to answer the other half of this. it still gives ryuji more joy to know that he was ren's first choice for dating partners to get his mother to shut up. hell, it almost brings a soft blush to his cheeks.
as ren's foot taps his knee, it helps him come up with a sort of thought process. asking if it means anything would make their whole relationship too awkward to ever repair, but just ignoring it won't make the problem go away. ryuji lets out a long, contemplative hum, before turning to ren with his chin resting in his hand.) So... what do you want to do? I'm guessing telling her the truth would just make it worse.
(might as well add fuel to the fire, see where ren wants to take this. it's not like ryuji's heart can get anymore broken after already knowing the feelings would never be mutual.)
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[ See, people don't give Ryuji enough credit. They see the blond hair and the surly expression and assume he's a delinquent with no emotional capacity, hear the way he speaks and assume he's an idiot. Even if Ren and their friends give him a hard time occasionally, they know there's a lot more to Ryuji than meets the eye. Like now, when he can see right into the heart of the issue.
If Ren comes clean, it would only make her feel like she's more justified in her line of thinking. There's always the option of avoiding speaking to her, but... for all that he feels like they don't truly understand him, he doesn't want to stop trying to build what he never had when he was younger.
Now that he's about to come out with the rest of his thoughts, he shifts, sliding his feet down to the floor so that he can sit up properly—or about as properly as he ever does, slouching a bit into the cushions as he glances at the television. ]
I was thinking that we could fake it. Just enough to convince her that it's real.
[ Enough to get her to drop the subject and let him carry on with his life in that regard, at least. ]
It's fine if you're not up for that, though. [ Ren meets his eyes now, offering him a half-smile to reassure that he really would be okay with that. ] I know it's a weird request.
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then again, ryuji and ren have never really been "normal people", even before the phantom thieves. so while it's a different kind of bizarre, it's not something ryuji is inherently opposed to.
but he won't lie to himself. the idea of dating ren, even if it's all just for show, fills him with a bit of joy he hasn't felt in quite some time.
now fully ignoring his show, he leans back into the couch in a similar manner with a sigh. all he can do is shrug.) Dude, we lived weird for months. Pretending to date is probably the least weird thing we've done this year.
(he says while his heart is still dealing with those pesky conflicting emotions. half of it is breaking, half of it is soaring. he'll get to date ren, but only in appearances.
the much easier option is to instead focus on how all of this is going to affect ren's mom. this is some sweet, delicious revenge for all the bullshit ren's on own family put him through. ryuji is admittedly a little angrier than he should be, but that's likely to happen when the person you love the most is still dealing with backlash on things that weren't his fault.
ryuji gets downright devious, letting out his usual cocky laugh when he comes up with a good plan or gets the drop on a shadow.) Plus, it'll be a good little payback for her. She tells you to start dating, and you pick the one guy who has the delinquent look down perfectly. D'you think she'll be more horrified, or disgusted?
(he's no stranger to his own appearance, more than aware of how he looks and comes off to people. and while it might be a little self-deprecating, if he can use people's skewed perception of himself to his advantage, especially for ren, he won't hesitate.)
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Then that hint of a smile is twitching wider at the sound of Ryuji's laugh. ]
More disappointed than anything, probably. [ That seems to be the overarching theme of their feelings towards Ren. Maybe that's why he feels like he can run with this ridiculous idea—he's already so used to that sort of reaction to his decisions.
But now that he can actually allow himself to consider this plan on a deeper level than "what if," Ren twists a curl of hair around his finger as he thinks. ]
At first I thought about just staging some pictures, but I don't know if that will be enough… She might have to see it in person to be convinced.
[ A prospect that leaves his lips pressing into a thin line. Introducing Ryuji to his parents isn't exactly something he's been eager to do. For all that Ren loves them, they're the kind of people who will take one look at him and make snap decisions. ]
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while in the past, ryuji might have been offended at the idea that more adults would be disappointed in him at only a glance, snap judgments that shine ryuji in a bad light no matter what he does, now he finds himself hardly caring. sure, it still gets under his skin, but he doesn't let the opinions of others get to him as much.
why should it? everyone who knows the real him accepts him and loves him for who he is. and that's more than he ever thought he'd get.
knowing for certain ren's parents will be disappointed has him grinning wider, already cooking up a few schemes to really sell it.) Then let's go for gold. I can get a fake tattoo and pretend I'm part of the yakuza. Scare 'em shitless a bit.
(should he really be talking about his romantic interest's family this way, probably not. but did they start it by giving unrealistic and forced expectations on a son who's trying to do the right thing? absolutely.
but when ren gets to talking about how it might have to be faked in real time, that's when ryuji gets a little more nervous. not for any reasons of being nervous they'll get caught in a lie, but that they won't. that ren's parents will find out ryuji is actually in love with him. it's the ultimate bad end. how would they react? would they even be able to do anything? would ren be so disgusted, he'd ditch ryuji immediately?
okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch, even ryuji knows it. but feelings are messy, complicated, and sometimes terrifying things. he tries to brush off his own paranoia by humming thoughtfully, sinking further into the couch as he racks his brain for a solution.) How far are you willing to take it? Just show me to your parents and be like "hey see we're a couple, bye". Or like kissing 'n shit?
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I'm trying to convince them, not give them heart attacks. [ The words are light and unperturbed, though.
And then Ryuji brings up a good point. How far is he willing to take this? How far does he need to? There's really no telling on the latter, but Ren can't say that he's opposed to the idea of kissing Ryuji. Not at all. It's just that doing it under false pretenses and secretly getting enjoyment out of it seems kind of…
Yeah.
But if Ryuji is the one bringing it up, would he really mind that much…?
Ren shakes the thought loose so that he can focus on responding. ]
I don't think just introducing you would be enough. [ If anything, that might make her more doubtful. Like he's trying to prove it without anything substantial to back it up. They already know Ryuji exists and that they're close enough that he would probably agree to something like saying he's Ren's boyfriend if asked. They have to make it seem like something they wouldn't go as far as to fake.
Damn it, his mind keeps coming back to kissing. ]
We'd have to sell it. [ Make it seem like it's second nature. ] Like it's just how we act around each other. So things like touching each other and the way we look at each other and—maybe kissing when they think we think they're not looking.
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maybe the phantom thieves should make one last appearance to change the hearts of the amamiya parents.
but rather than voice his immediate disdain for ren's family, he instead gives a dramatic sigh, almost let down he won't get to use his delinquent act for once. maybe someday.
the more ren schemes out their "relationship", ryuji finds himself more and more conflicted. it's less like a fake dating trick and more like a lifestyle lie. can he handle that, emotionally? it's a bit more drastic than just simply faking it, it's like he'll be lying to himself every day.
it's getting too exhausting to think about now, and ryuji has always been one to act rather than overthink everything. so with one fluid motion, ryuji wraps an arm around ren's shoulders, tugging him down as ryuji lets himself fall to the shoulder of the couch. with ren resting comfortably against his chest, he raises up his other arm to embrace him, chin nuzzling ren's fluffy head of hair. and maybe lowkey smelling it with a devilish grin on his face.) So, like this, huh?
(it's said calmly, while his heart is damn near pounding out of his chest the way he dreams about pounding ren someday. that's probably crossing a line, one he could never come back from, though.
however, learning all the lengths ren is going to just to get his parents off his back concerns ryuji. his smile slowly fades, looking down at the one person who gives his all in everything he does, not matter the toll it takes on him.) Hey... this might be none of my business, so if you want me to but out, just say so.
(his voice dips oddly serious for once, a surprisingly thoughtful hum is let out as he struggles to figure out how to word this.) I get they're your parents and all, but if you have to go through all this to get them to, I dunno, accept or approve of you... is it really worth it? Are they really worth it? It's... mmm.
(ryuji holds ren tighter, eyes narrowing as he remembers things he'd rather not.) My mom was kinda like that. With my dad. She'd try to make him happy so he wouldn't... y'know. It took her a long time to remember she and I needed to be happy, too. I just don't want you to spend all this time and energy trying to reconnect with your parents if it's just sucking the happiness out of you. I...
(emotional honesty has never really been his strong suit, not unless it was justified rage or joyous hunger. the words come out quiet, the most upfront he's ever been with ren.) I don't want to see you get hurt, dude.
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Yeah, kind of like this.
[ The surprise melts from his limbs as he relaxes into the hold. The sudden change in tone soon has him going still again, though. Ryuji rarely takes on this quality to his voice, only reserved for the most serious of occasions. It's even more unusual for him to talk about his father; Ren listens quietly, tucking one arm against Ryuji's side to get more comfortable in the position. ]
... They're my parents. [ Which is exactly the line of thinking that he's being cautioned against, but still.
A few years ago, he might've felt differently, but after supporting so many friends through the loss or absence of a parent, Ren can't bring himself not to try with his own. He's too lucky to have two healthy parents who care about his wellbeing, as misguided as their concern often is, to take it for granted. ]
It's actually not that bad. My relationship with them is better than it's been in a long time. It's just this one thing... [ He sighs softly. ] They want what's best for me, they just don't really know me.
[ They barely knew about him as a person before the assault charge. By the time he got back from his time in Tokyo, which grew him as a person immensely, he might as well as have been a stranger.
Turning a bit, Ren rests his chin on Ryuji's chest so that he can look up at him. ] I thought that if they saw me happy with a decision of my own, they would understand. But maybe this is too much.
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part of him is kicking himself for taking advantage of ren when he needs ryuji's help the most. he's never talked about his family much at all, and this is the one time ren asked for his help dealing with them. and yet here he is, pretending to gauge what sort of affection they'll need to perform when really, ryuji just wanted to hold ren more than anything.
ann was right, he really is a pervert.
but being so emotionally vulnerable, even in private, has him not wanting to let go of his support. he'd love nothing more than to run his fingers through that too fluffy hair, kiss the top of his head, anything. ryuji never realized how badly he wanted this until the option to experience it was put in front of him. and he never knew the thought of it all being fake would hurt this much.
when ren responds to his concerns, ryuji pushes his feelings out of mind, listening intently to his reasoning for trying. though, there's one thing he can't help but chuckle softly to.) Dude, them being your parents is exactly what I want you to be careful about.
(he goes quiet once more as ren continues, unsure if the situation is supposed to be as complicated as this. ryuji understands family troubles, probably more than people really know. but not enough to understand the reasoning behind faking a boyfriend.
ryuji hopes there's no blush on his face when ren turns to look at him, the entire scene so domestic and homey, it's hard for his brain to stay on track. taking one arm away, ryuji scratches the back of his neck, thinking of the best way to ease ren's worries.) Look, maybe I just lucked out with my mom being as great as she is, so I don't really know about this stuff. But I think you're in the right place. You gotta show your mom she doesn't need to do anything for you, that you can figure this out on yourown. Love's a pretty big deal, y'know? So, maybe you need to do something pretty big to get her to realize that.
(being selfish again, just for a brief moment, to indulge himself, ryuji reaches up to playfully ruffle ren's hair. it's so much softer than he thought, it gives him a bit of peace, smiling at ren once more.) I'll help you out no matter what it is, dude. I got your back.
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It's rare enough for Ren to second guess himself, the act shaky at best. Ryuji's hand mussing up his hair dispels the tenuous sense of doubt in one swift motion. So what if the idea is ridiculous? It's just a bit of work for what will hopefully be a lifetime of peace on that front—and it won't even really be work if it's with Ryuji.
He meets the smile with a quirk of his own lips. ]
Thanks, Ryuji. [ Somehow, he always knows what to say to set Ren's thoughts back on track. Ryuji's probably the only person with a more straightforward view of things than his own, and it shows at times like this.
A hand plants onto the couch and he pushes himself up from his friend's chest, looking down at him as he does so. ]
I knew I thought of you first for a reason.
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he should focus on anything else, anything, the way ren puts so much trust in him, how ryuji was the one he went to. not ann, or makoto, or haru, all of whom would have been much better candidates for fake partners. no, ren went to ryuji because they're best friends and ryuji can't betray that bond by imagining what a good kisser akira is.
there's no controlling the blush this time, a soft pink dusting his cheeks as ryuji awkwardly looks for an out.) W-Well, y'know, best friends 'n all. Should at least be here when you need me, right?
(yeah, that is totally the reason he's going with. he'll pretend to be ren's boyfriend because he's a good friend and ren needs his help. yeah. he can totally do that.
and the only reason ren thought of him first is because they're best friends. it's not because ren was thinking of the person he liked. ryuji isn't allowing himself any room for hope, not when they've just further solidified their relationship and trust in one another. wrecking that with ryuji's more complicated feelings would only strain what they have, and he has no interest in losing the best person in his life.
after his mom, of course.
eventually, he sits up, hoping to get out of a position that will make him want to kiss ren... but that only gets them both on equal eye level, and ryuji is no further away. well. guess he'll die.
he clears his throat for what seems like no reason, just trying to get the embarrassment out of his system.) S-So... what now? We're doing this, so we gotta think up a plan.
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Ryuji sounds vaguely flustered by the whole thing, but that's a given, isn't it? It's a strange situation, and how much dating experience do either of them actually have? Ryuji talks a big game, but Ren is close enough to him to know that it's often just that. As for himself, he's always poured more time into things like school and jobs and friendships to pursue anything romantic past a few dates. The easy, natural affection that comes with a long-term relationship would be completely new to Ren.
But if he can do it with anyone, he thinks it would be Ryuji. Being around each other is already second nature. ]
Wow. I never thought you'd be the one telling me we need a plan. [ It's something light and teasing to hopefully dispel some of the nerves between them.
Ryuji is right, though. Ren leans his head back against the couch, eyes drifting thoughtfully to the ceiling. ]
I can make plans with her for us to come visit one weekend. That would give us time to practice. [ He pauses, going back to a previous idea. ] We could stage a few pictures for good measure.
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it's one thing to think about being with a cute girl, it's another thing entirely to start a fake relationship with the hottest guy you know and who you dream about kissing more than any girl on the planet. yeah, ryuji's got it bad and he'll never admit it.
the banter does help settle his nerves, once it does hit him that he has, in fact, been trying to steer this disaster into some sort of plan to help cover all their bases. he chuckles quietly, collapsing back on the couch.) Because for once, you didn't. Looks like the leader lost his cool.
(it's not as big of a deal as ryuji makes it out to be, since it was something bound to happen at one point or another. despite how ren seems, ryuji knows there's only so far his patience can take him. no one can be perfectly cool and collected all the time, they'd snap. like ren did.
really, though, ryuji is a little glad ren was able to snap and make some bad choices. having to constantly know which choice is the best one can be frustrating, and if ryuji can ease a little of that burden, he'll do it no questions.
while ren is looking at the ceiling, ryuji occasionally steals sidelong glances, for no reason other than he just wants to see ren's face.) Okay, that's the thing I got questions about. When you say "stage pictures", do you mean like fake dates? Or us just hanging out in our apartment? Posting anywhere?
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Either's fine as long as they look natural. [ As for the last part, though... ] We don't have to post them anywhere.
[ It's not like Ren's parents are on social media, after all, and he doesn't want to make things weird for Ryuji by posting pictures that make them look like a couple. Ren doesn't intend for this to leave any lasting impression on Ryuji's love life. It's enough that he's going out of his way to help like this; they don't need to do anything that will raise questions with Ryuji's friends or potential suitors.
There's just... something about that thought that bothers him. Ren pushes it down and continues on. ]
I could send them or we could just show them while we're there. [ It should be easy enough to have what they've been up to surface in conversation, and oh, Ren even has a picture, would they like to see? The months of telling smooth lies as a Phantom Thief prepared him for that much, at least.
Now, they just need some scenarios that would clearly imply dating. ]
Maybe something like a date at Destinyland? We can even get matching headbands... [ Okay, maybe he just wants to see Ryuji in one again. The last memory of it was pretty severely soured, after all. ]
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almost as much as ryuji is going to be. but that little part of ryuji... he wants it to be public, to be real. more than anything.
to make conversation easier, he turns on the couch to fully face ren, fist resting against his head while his face scrunches up in thought.) Mmm... sending them sounds kinda like how you said it'd be for introducing me. Y'know, them just thinking you're trying to prove something?
(but all of a sudden, he shoots up to an oddly straight posture, snapping his fingers and waving his hand animatedly as he tries to make a point.) Oh! What if we stage pics and put 'em around the apartment? That way when she visits, she can see the proof without us having to shove it at her.
(broke: tricking ren's mom into buying their relationship
woke: ryuji gets to see pictures of him dating ren every day
he tries not to wince at the suggestion of destinyland, already remembering things he'd rather not. but this time has to be different, right? the phantom thieves are done. there's no risk of mental breakdowns or live television murders.
think happy thoughts. ren wearing one of the headbands. ren picking one out for ryuji.
ren. just ren.) Okay, but if I find out you posted it to the group chat, I'm breaking up with you.
(he wouldn't, he'd never, he can't. his talk is big but his walk is weak shit.) Man, I gotta be honest. I dunno what couples really do. They say sappy shit, kiss a lot, that's kinda the extent of my knowledge. Don't tell anyone.
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[ Ryuji is right that it would seem more natural that way. They wouldn't need to overdo it, either. Just a few placed around the apartment would probably be enough to sell it.
That he agrees to go along with the date idea brings out a smile. Even without the pretense of it being a date, Ren knows that he and Ryuji would have a good time going there together. Ride some roller coasters, eat some severely overpriced theme park food, watch the fireworks together before catching a late train home.
... Maybe that does sound like a date, after all. This might be even easier than he thought. ]
Don't worry, I'll only make it my phone wallpaper.
[ Ren turns into a similar position to face Ryuji, twirling a curl of hair around his finger with a mock-innocent look that melts away with the following admission. ]
I don't know that well either. [ It's not something he's ever experienced himself, but he's read books and seen plenty of romance flicks with Ann, enough that he thinks he can piece something convincing together. ] But we'll figure it out. That's what the practice is for.
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it's a little sad in a way, that ryuji is already mentally planning which pictures should go where. fancy date nights should be in more public areas, like the sitting room, but close and casual ones should be kept in the study, where you only go if you have a purpose.
and now that they're apparently planning a date (a date) to destinyland, ryuji is absolutely dragging ren to a corny photobooth, desiring nothing more than a string of photos to keep inside his wallet at all times.
for the facade, of course. no other reason.
but then ren teases about making it his wallpaper and oh god, that's a perfect thought, ren keeping a personal photo of ryuji on him, something he'd no doubt look at every day. and it gives him ideas.) Y'know... that's not a bad idea. Couples do that shit, right? Wallpapers of each other.
(ryuji says as if he doesn't have a locked photo album on his phone of ren smiling that he looks at whenever life starts to crush him.
a smile grows on his face as ren reassures him that they'll work it out. they've faced the most twisted desires known to man, greed, lust, god complexes, literal gods. how hard can it be to trick a mom?) That actually makes me feel a little better. You're always so... well, cool. If you said you had like ten girlfriends in high school, I'd have believed you.
(but that does make him think... ren is undeniably popular. he managed to create a diehard team of friends who'd risk their lives for each other on a daily basis. half of whom are girls.
very beautiful, successful girls.
any one of them would have been a superior candidate for a fake partner. they're all beautiful, intelligent, strong, capable, already have their lives planned out. or mostly do. but ryuji? he's still treading water, struggling to figure out his place once again.
his face falls slightly as his thoughts run rampant once again. he's gone back and forth on dating ren so many times, ryuji isn't sure if he'll even be able to go through with it at this rate.) But... are you sure you wanna do this with me? You've got friends like Ann and Makoto. They've both got way more going for 'em than I do. Hell, you just gotta say you know Haru and that'll please your parents probably for the rest of your life.
(he rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit he's never dropped, along with the fast tapping of his foot.) You can always just back out from me. Aim a little higher. That's never been a problem for you. (he laughs, lighthearted and teasing, but he's bracing for heartbreak once ren realizes there's better options for fake partners.)
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But Ren's face falls as Ryuji continues. Well, maybe not falls, but it shifts into the neutral default that he typically wears, the one he allows his emotions to shine through more often with Ryuji. ]
I'm not going back on this. I made up my mind.
[ It once again begs the question, though, of why his mind never considered any of their other friends before it hopped right to Ryuji, without even looking back. And now that their qualifications as partners are being brought up… Ren still doesn't feel like he could've made any other choice that than the one he did. ]
Besides… Ann is the worst actress I've ever met. [ He loves her, but… really. ] Makoto would just tell me to handle it properly. [ Plus they already pretended to date once before to get information on her friend's boyfriend. Asking to reprise that would probably give off the wrong impression. ] And Haru would be even more unbelievable. [ They'd love her, but nabbing the heiress of a fast food fortune would be an even harder sell than dating Ryuji.
But most importantly: ] What's wrong with dating you, anyway? You're honest and hard-working. And I've seen how much you do for your mom. You're a good son. Anyone would be lucky to date you, Ryuji.
[ Ren deflates a little after he wraps up the sentence. It's—a lot more than he usually says in one go, but seeing Ryuji put himself down gets him riled up. Why can't he see himself the way Ren sees him? ]
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and ryuji really does not want to even think about how excited this gets him. it's not every day he gets praise like this, especially from ren, who's offering it so openly and freely. blood rushes straight to his face, getting him bright red and burning hot within moments and leaving ryuji completely unable to look ren in the eye.
by this point, ryuji can't even care how much his heart will get broken by the end of their "relationship". ren is here, right now, praising ryuji in a way he never has. it's got him completely wrapped around ren's finger, willing to do anything and everything for him.
he keeps his face hidden, turned away as he rubs the back of his neck and tries not to smile too hard. but he is.) J-Jeez, why don't you tell me how you really feel.
(it's all he can say on the matter, too worried that if ren keeps going, ryuji won't be able to hide his feelings anymore. and won't that just make everything awful.
but he figures the least he can do is ease any concerns ren might be having, despite ryuji spending most of their conversation assuring ren he's down with this.
plus, it's just good manners to return a compliment.) You're not a bad catch yourself. I can think of way worse people to fake date, and at least it'll be fun with you.
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Ren is still a little wary, under the surface. The fact that he questioned the arrangement a couple of times despite the reassurances and seemed to be showing some of his nervous tics implies that there might still be some hang-up over it there. For now, though, he can take it at face value.
That means allowing a teasing grin to peek through. ] That's so sweet, honey.
[ The endearment falls from his lips easily, playful, maybe because it's something he has no intention of utilizing in their fake dating charade. They don't seem like the type to use such stereotypical pet names with each other, especially in front of other people. ]
It'll be so fun, I'll ruin you for all future fake boyfriends. [ This friendly banter is familiar. Ren settles into it, pushing his glasses up his nose to hide the glint in his eye. ]
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especially when ren is being dumb and calling him honey. it's sickeningly sweet and stupid all at once, and though ryuji tries to keep his laughter bottled up, a few muffled chuckles breaking out, it's only moments before he's clutching his sides, laughter echoing through the room.) D-Dude, did you seriously just call me honey?
(he doesn't mean to laugh as loud and full bodied as he is, but with everything pent up inside him, plus ren delivering that line with his usual monotone voice leaves him in stitches.
ryuji isn't quite sure if he even liked it or not, not sure if that's going to be a thing when they get the actual relationship going. what he knows for sure is ren calling ryuji's own name gets a much stronger reaction from him.
his laughter dies down after a while, his face still flushed, a smile plastered on his face and refusing to go anywhere. shining just for ren. just because of ren.
and it's more than a relief to know despite the weird change in their lives, ren is still willing to banter with ryuji. still tease, make shitty jokes. nothing is really changing. what was he so worried about?) You're going to spoil me, and anytime someone needs me for fake dating, it just won't be the same.
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[ Somehow, with Ryuji cracking up, it's even easier to adopt a deadpan expression, though it eventually cracks as the laughter continues on. The brightness in Ryuji's eyes just confirms that he chose the right person to be his partner in this scheme. It really will be fun, even if it's going to be a serious test of his own patience and restraint. ]
It'll be the fake romance of a lifetime. [ With a soft laugh, he turns, leaning back against the cushions again. Whatever happens, it'll be memorable, won't it?
Ren's gaze flickers over the television, not quite paying attention to what's happening on the screen when his brain is too busy trying to lay out the skeleton of this plan they've entered into together. ]
Really, though... No weird pet names. [ That would give them right away.
And that brings to mind another point, something they should probably discuss before they actually get into any of this: ] Actually... Is there anything you definitely don't want to do or say? We should get that out in the open right now.
[ The last thing he wants to do is make Ryuji uncomfortable by taking it too far at the wrong time. ]
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ryuji is ignoring the show altogether at this point, his focus solely on ren, giving him another playful nudge.) I'm still calling you Renren. You can't take that away from me.
(ren bringing up the topic of boundaries, however, gets ryuji to stiffen a little bit. there's nothing ryuji can imagine saying 'no' to, welcoming any touch or sweet phrase. even if he's not sure ren is the type to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. is ryuji the type to want those? man, fake dating is hard.
he scratches the back of his neck while his face scrunches up in thought. they aren't really things he wants to bring up, but...) I mean... I guess all I can say is my dad 'n Kamoshida? I know you'd never bring those up on your own, I don't mean it like that. Just that... people always bring it back to my mom, yeah? They can say whatever shit they want about me, but not my mom.
(he hunches over a bit, worried how all of this could affect her in the long run. she's never pressured him to get a partner or anything like that, but he's seen the looks in her eyes whenever he hangs out with the girls.) I wanna avoid getting my mom involved in this, if I can.
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Ren's expression darkens slightly at the mention of Kamoshida and Ryuji's father. He knows those topics are off limits, but it's the sort of thing that his parents might bring up in conversation, wanting to hear about Ryuji's parents or his perspective on the scandal that went down at Shujin. He knows they wouldn't pursue it in a malicious way, but they have a hard time reading the room, and both topics tend to spark Ryuji's temper and tank his mood.
It's a recipe for disaster, really, but one Ren is prepared to mitigate as needed. ] Alright. If those come up, let me handle it.
[ A little more surprising is Ryuji's preference to keep his mother out of this… completely? She's always been more accepting than the average parent, so Ren can't imagine she would be that bothered by their arrangement if she knew the reasoning behind it. But perhaps Ryuji knows something he doesn't, and Ren will be damned if he's not going to respect his best friend's wishes. ]
We'll keep your mom out of it, too. [ Ren reassures him of that fact with a smile and briefly considers grabbing Ryuji's hand along with it to practice the gesture. Something about it feels like the right moment, but there's a little voice in the back of his head telling him not to cheapen a serious conversation. He crosses his arms over his front to contain the urge. ] Then we're good?
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