They start out seeming like good ones, right up until the other shoe drops. Helping out a woman being harassed by a drunkard, checking out the imposing castle that stood where his school was supposed to be, and, more recently, moving in with his best friend whom he may or may not be mildly attracted to. Just to name a few.
For what it's worth, his bad ideas typically come full circle, arriving at a happy outcome in the end. He was able to come to Tokyo, met his friends, and went on the adventure of his life—and honestly? That one inconvenient detail aside, living with Ryuji has been a blast so far.
This one, though... Ren isn't sure it's capable of ending well.
It starts out innocent enough, with a phone call from his mother. His parents aren't quite as intent on ignoring his existence as they were when he was on probation; the year back home was small but steady progress towards repairing a relationship that was hardly even there in the first place. Still, it hasn't stopped them from thinking they know what's best for him, despite all evidence pointing towards Ren having little to no interest in following whatever road map they want to lay before him.
Dating is part of that. His mother, in particular, seems endlessly concerned with his love life, or lack thereof. It makes sense. Ren is an only child, after all, and well... He supposes he did kind of bring it upon himself when he let it come up in conversation one day that he is, in no uncertain terms, also interested in men. He should have foreseen that she would react this way, but if there's one thing he learned in Tokyo, it's that he doesn't want to hide his true self anymore.
So when their conversation turns once again to that dreaded subject, his mother detailing her coworker's accomplished and very single daughter, it sort of just—slips out. That he's seeing someone. Which he's not, but it shuts her up.
Only for a second, though. She presses him for details, obviously, a name and occupation, and Ren's usually restrained demeanor slips, something more petulant rearing its head. ]
It's Ryuji.
[ Yeah, those are actual words that left his mouth. Ren has what almost feels like an out-of-body experience as he utters them, similar to watching a car crash in slow motion. Oh no.
The exchange doesn't last much longer after that. His mother tries to tell him the same thing as last time: that whatever strange preferences being in the city has impressed upon him are just a passing thing, that he'll want to settle down for real and start a family once he decides to be serious about his future. And this time, Ren efficiently steers the conversation to an end. Probably a good thing, because now he has to figure out how to go back on what he just said without it only encouraging his mother to double down on her efforts.
A day passes, and he's no closer to an answer to that dilemma than he was right after hanging up. But now, sprawled across half of the couch the following evening, one foot kicked up against Ryuji's knee as he only half-watches whatever TV show his roommate picked out, another possibility picks at the corner of his brain. ]
What would you say if I asked you to date me? [ No preamble, no explanation, just sounding vaguely wondering. A lot of their conversations start off like this, with some inane question just thrown out there, except that it's never a hypothetical relationship proposition. ]
(ryuji, likewise, is never truly object to bad ideas for good reasons. every bad idea ren has ever had, ryuji was always right there beside him, ready to follow into whatever chaos they'd found themselves in. going through so many grueling and emotionally taxing events as they have produces a certain bond among comrades, one that couldn't easily be broken even with the year ren returned home.
ryuji was right there waiting, knowing for certain ren would come home to his real family. the one that mattered. the one that cared.
and with that, it was like nothing had changed between them. sure, ryuji asked the standard 'how was home' questions, but he was always far more interested in taking ren on some other adventure, or whatever harebrained scheme the two of them managed to cook up. everything was different with ren, more exciting, more meaningful, more important. ryuji's most heartwarming memories are all from the time he met ren and onwards.
of course, his growing romantic feelings certainly had plenty to do with that.
ryuji's not sure when he started developing feelings for ren, or when they became more than just a schoolboy crush. but it wasn't long before his thoughts of how cool ren was changed to how hot he was or how nice it would be to hold his hand or what a good kisser he'd be.
it's things like that that made moving in and living together both a blessing and a curse. seeing ren with bedhead, after he gets out of the shower, cooking both of them dinner, it was the closest he got to having a boyfriend. ann has gotten many a late night text where he laments his torture of only being able to look, not touch.
after enough time living in the same space, he slowly grew used to it, allowing it all to be his new normal. seeing ren focus intently on the coffee in the morning, homemade lunches he pretended were from his boyfriend, going on runs together and watching the sweat glisten on ren's forehead, coming home to casually drape over each other as they watch tv. it's become so much more peaceful than their lives were in high school, it's almost jarring how wide the difference is.
though with how easily they both fell into this lifestyle, ryuji certainly has no complaints.
like how the current day is. ren laying close beside him so casually, no reservations, no hesitation, no need to really learn to get comfortable with each other. it's such a normal day for them, with ryuji zoning out to the tv, that he barely registers ren's question until he mentally replays it a few times.
and what a replay it is. there's practically a record scratch as it hits him what ren just asked. his mind is so overrun with questions and confusion and general wait what the fuck that it takes a while before ryuji can even properly vocalize an answer that isn't just "uh?????". what does it mean? is he actually asking ryuji out on a date? is this just another hypothetical? does it have a special meaning behind it? will this end with ryuji crying in his bedroom again?
the confusion and shock is clear on his face as he turns to face ren, full on deer in headlights:) Eh? What?
[ An understandable reaction, and one he's seen and heard plenty of times from Ryuji. So when Ren turns his head to meet the confusion, he looks completely unfazed. ]
My mom was trying to set me up again.
[ Ryuji's heard about this more than a few times by now. It takes a lot to get underneath Ren's skin, but this is something that's grown to bother him to the point of mild venting. Truly a feat. ]
I didn't feel like hearing it, so I told her I'm seeing someone already. [ The fact that he didn't think said claim through before blurting it out is implied.
But now, there's clearly more that he does intend to say, though it's one of those rare moments where he seems somewhat unsure of how to go about phrasing it. The ball of his foot taps against Ryuji's knee, a small giveaway of his uncertainty.
Well, better start with the facts. ]
... I told her it's you.
[ And why did he do that? Ren's been asking himself for the past twenty-four hours. On paper, Ryuji's the best candidate: They live together, know almost everything about one another, and will always go out on a limb to help each other. But Ren really should've been smart enough to name someone he doesn't occasionally think about kissing. That's playing with fire.
When doesn't he go that route, though? It's like his brain is trying to make up for the lack of high stakes adventure in his life these days. ]
(there's a swarm of conflicting emotions ryuji has to deal with now that ren dropped a truth bomb like that. he's absolutely overjoyed ryuji was the first person he thought of as a candidate for dating, but at the same time, so terrified about the implications it could have. does ren feel the same? was it just for convenience's sake? or is it really just as simple as ryuji being the easiest one to lie about?
rather than try to deal with all his overwhelming thought ryuji ops for the simple route of choosing one thing at a time and dealing with them in that order.
so hearing that ren's mother is, once again, nagging him for something as useless as dating has him rolling his eyes, along with a downright ignored ugh.) Seriously? Is she still going on about the "starting a family" bullshit?
(with every conversation about ren's mother, ryuji constantly wonders why there aren't more mothers like his own. she's supportive of everything he does, always trying to do better for him, and ren deserves all that and more.
and there's truly no better support for a young boy in agonizing love than an understanding and gentle mother. he's lost track of how many times she's listened to him struggle through his feelings regarding ren.
speaking of which, he still has to find a way to answer the other half of this. it still gives ryuji more joy to know that he was ren's first choice for dating partners to get his mother to shut up. hell, it almost brings a soft blush to his cheeks.
as ren's foot taps his knee, it helps him come up with a sort of thought process. asking if it means anything would make their whole relationship too awkward to ever repair, but just ignoring it won't make the problem go away. ryuji lets out a long, contemplative hum, before turning to ren with his chin resting in his hand.) So... what do you want to do? I'm guessing telling her the truth would just make it worse.
(might as well add fuel to the fire, see where ren wants to take this. it's not like ryuji's heart can get anymore broken after already knowing the feelings would never be mutual.)
[ See, people don't give Ryuji enough credit. They see the blond hair and the surly expression and assume he's a delinquent with no emotional capacity, hear the way he speaks and assume he's an idiot. Even if Ren and their friends give him a hard time occasionally, they know there's a lot more to Ryuji than meets the eye. Like now, when he can see right into the heart of the issue.
If Ren comes clean, it would only make her feel like she's more justified in her line of thinking. There's always the option of avoiding speaking to her, but... for all that he feels like they don't truly understand him, he doesn't want to stop trying to build what he never had when he was younger.
Now that he's about to come out with the rest of his thoughts, he shifts, sliding his feet down to the floor so that he can sit up properly—or about as properly as he ever does, slouching a bit into the cushions as he glances at the television. ]
I was thinking that we could fake it. Just enough to convince her that it's real.
[ Enough to get her to drop the subject and let him carry on with his life in that regard, at least. ]
It's fine if you're not up for that, though. [ Ren meets his eyes now, offering him a half-smile to reassure that he really would be okay with that. ] I know it's a weird request.
(ryuji wonders if that's the option he was hoping for, because when ren suggests it, he's not nearly as shocked as he would be, instead almost anticipating it. sure, it's definitely an option one could bring up, but it's never the first. in fact, not many people ever bring up the notion of fake dating.
then again, ryuji and ren have never really been "normal people", even before the phantom thieves. so while it's a different kind of bizarre, it's not something ryuji is inherently opposed to.
but he won't lie to himself. the idea of dating ren, even if it's all just for show, fills him with a bit of joy he hasn't felt in quite some time.
now fully ignoring his show, he leans back into the couch in a similar manner with a sigh. all he can do is shrug.) Dude, we lived weird for months. Pretending to date is probably the least weird thing we've done this year.
(he says while his heart is still dealing with those pesky conflicting emotions. half of it is breaking, half of it is soaring. he'll get to date ren, but only in appearances.
the much easier option is to instead focus on how all of this is going to affect ren's mom. this is some sweet, delicious revenge for all the bullshit ren's on own family put him through. ryuji is admittedly a little angrier than he should be, but that's likely to happen when the person you love the most is still dealing with backlash on things that weren't his fault.
ryuji gets downright devious, letting out his usual cocky laugh when he comes up with a good plan or gets the drop on a shadow.) Plus, it'll be a good little payback for her. She tells you to start dating, and you pick the one guy who has the delinquent look down perfectly. D'you think she'll be more horrified, or disgusted?
(he's no stranger to his own appearance, more than aware of how he looks and comes off to people. and while it might be a little self-deprecating, if he can use people's skewed perception of himself to his advantage, especially for ren, he won't hesitate.)
[ Why did he think the answer might be anything else? Ryuji has never once turned down a request to help him with something, no matter how stupid it is. Ren releases an amused exhale, mostly at himself for even thinking his best friend might leave him to figure it out himself.
Then that hint of a smile is twitching wider at the sound of Ryuji's laugh. ]
More disappointed than anything, probably. [ That seems to be the overarching theme of their feelings towards Ren. Maybe that's why he feels like he can run with this ridiculous idea—he's already so used to that sort of reaction to his decisions.
But now that he can actually allow himself to consider this plan on a deeper level than "what if," Ren twists a curl of hair around his finger as he thinks. ]
At first I thought about just staging some pictures, but I don't know if that will be enough… She might have to see it in person to be convinced.
[ A prospect that leaves his lips pressing into a thin line. Introducing Ryuji to his parents isn't exactly something he's been eager to do. For all that Ren loves them, they're the kind of people who will take one look at him and make snap decisions. ]
(ren and ryuji are at that point in their relationship where there's very little they'd refuse each other on. they risked their lives together in hoping to steal the hearts of corrupt and twisted adults in society. tricking ren's parents so they'll leave him alone? possibly stressful, but not the sort of thing ryuji would abandon ren to alone.
while in the past, ryuji might have been offended at the idea that more adults would be disappointed in him at only a glance, snap judgments that shine ryuji in a bad light no matter what he does, now he finds himself hardly caring. sure, it still gets under his skin, but he doesn't let the opinions of others get to him as much.
why should it? everyone who knows the real him accepts him and loves him for who he is. and that's more than he ever thought he'd get.
knowing for certain ren's parents will be disappointed has him grinning wider, already cooking up a few schemes to really sell it.) Then let's go for gold. I can get a fake tattoo and pretend I'm part of the yakuza. Scare 'em shitless a bit.
(should he really be talking about his romantic interest's family this way, probably not. but did they start it by giving unrealistic and forced expectations on a son who's trying to do the right thing? absolutely.
but when ren gets to talking about how it might have to be faked in real time, that's when ryuji gets a little more nervous. not for any reasons of being nervous they'll get caught in a lie, but that they won't. that ren's parents will find out ryuji is actually in love with him. it's the ultimate bad end. how would they react? would they even be able to do anything? would ren be so disgusted, he'd ditch ryuji immediately?
okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch, even ryuji knows it. but feelings are messy, complicated, and sometimes terrifying things. he tries to brush off his own paranoia by humming thoughtfully, sinking further into the couch as he racks his brain for a solution.) How far are you willing to take it? Just show me to your parents and be like "hey see we're a couple, bye". Or like kissing 'n shit?
[ The light-hearted suggestions draw a chuckle from his throat. They dropped contact with him for almost a year for an assault charge—if his parents were to think he's dating a yazuka member, they might disown him on the spot. Which really isn't that funny of a thought, but Ryuji's mischievous grin makes brings some humor to it anyway. ]
I'm trying to convince them, not give them heart attacks. [ The words are light and unperturbed, though.
And then Ryuji brings up a good point. How far is he willing to take this? How far does he need to? There's really no telling on the latter, but Ren can't say that he's opposed to the idea of kissing Ryuji. Not at all. It's just that doing it under false pretenses and secretly getting enjoyment out of it seems kind of…
Yeah.
But if Ryuji is the one bringing it up, would he really mind that much…?
Ren shakes the thought loose so that he can focus on responding. ]
I don't think just introducing you would be enough. [ If anything, that might make her more doubtful. Like he's trying to prove it without anything substantial to back it up. They already know Ryuji exists and that they're close enough that he would probably agree to something like saying he's Ren's boyfriend if asked. They have to make it seem like something they wouldn't go as far as to fake.
Damn it, his mind keeps coming back to kissing. ]
We'd have to sell it. [ Make it seem like it's second nature. ] Like it's just how we act around each other. So things like touching each other and the way we look at each other and—maybe kissing when they think we think they're not looking.
(it has been a day for ryuji sakamoto. school was rough, his part time job was even rougher, and he somehow managed to miss every single train he needed on his way home, leading for a much longer commute home than ryuji would like.
at a certain point in the day, his anger and frustration dissipated into a tired feeling of exhaustion and defeat at the day. he overworked himself at practice, with his leg not being fully healed just yet, and was forced to sit on the sidelines to prevent causing an even worse injury. classes weren't even on his mind, too many notes of what to ask his various professors scribbled down haphazardly in his notebooks. and he thought high school was an academic challenge.
then to make matters worse, his job seemed to be filled with nothing but rude, demanding customers throughout his entire shift. constantly looking down on him for being such a "delinquent" type, assuming that since it took him longer than a minute to find something, he must be incompetent, various complaints even though he hadn't done a thing wrong.
it's all enough to make him miss the phantom thieves and being able to change people's hearts to be less dickish.
the only thing getting him through the day is the thought of coming home to his boyfriend. ren would be there, a smile on his face and a welcome home kiss without even needing to be prompted. they'd cuddle on the couch, eventually get up to make dinner together, with ryuji kissing the back of ren's neck all the while, watching silly tv as they talk about their days and plan their weekend date.
it was normal, peaceful, simple. the thought of ren was enough to let him take a breath and not snap at anyone, drudge through the day without too much grumbling. ren's entire presence was just so healing for ryuji, sometimes he wonders how he grew to love one person so much.
when he finally makes it home, it's temping to just open the door and collapse on the floor and never move again. but ren's arms are far more inviting, so through sheer willpower, he remains upright as he slams the door behind him with a thud, kicking off his shoes and leaning against the wall, eyes closed to let the exhaustion wash over.) Renreeeeeeeeen, m'home.
[ It's obvious from the messages they exchange throughout the day that Ryuji is not having the best time. Normally Ren would take that as his cue to ensure that dinner is one of Ryuji's favorites and block out some time for them to do something mindlessly fun like kick each other's asses in a video game.
Today, though, the plans are a bit different.
It lines up well, actually, without him ever meaning for it to. Between a cancelled class and having the day off work, he ends up with a vast amount of free time in the afternoon. Conveniently so, because he has a coffee date (in the most platonic meaning of the word—actual dates are something he shares only with Ryuji) that's needed to happen for a few days now.
Maybe treating his former homeroom teacher to coffee is a bit unusual, but Ren's relationship with Kawakami has never really been typical. That actually came up recently in a conversation with Ryuji: the fact that during their Thieving days, he was regularly receiving massages from the teacher in full maid garb—once again, completely platonic. He was, understandably, kind of floored by the information, and the look in his eyes got Ren wondering.
So that's why Kawakami has a nondescript bag waiting for him when they meet, the mirth clear in her eyes when she hands it over. Shut it, Becky, Ren tells her, humor plain in his own tone, before they get start getting caught up.
The outfit, he finds later that evening, is more comfortable than he would have guessed. It feels weird going on, but once Ren has slid into the full maid getup, from the white stockings to the slightly flared skirt all the way to the frilled hairband that he has to fight with to stand it up straight among the mess of his hair… it's not so bad. And he doesn't look so bad, either, he's not ashamed to note as he slides the glasses from his nose while examining himself in the mirror. Definitely not a soft, petite maid ready to do fulfill her master's every wish, but his legs do look especially long underneath the short, ruffled skirt, the black-bowed ribbon adorning the neckpiece a sharp contrast against his pale skin.
It turns out to be a good thing that the costume is comfortable. Ryuji takes longer than usual to arrive home, and by the time the sound of the door opening finally rings through their apartment, Ren has to scramble up from where he's stretched out across the couch to lounge in a decidedly unladylike manner. He pats down his skirt, straightens the neckline, and takes one more moment to wrangle the headband into submission again, and then he's walking out to greet Ryuji, hands clasped in front of him. ]
Welcome home, Master. [ He's way too into this, but Ryuji's reaction is going to be worth it. ]
(he's able to tell things are different the moment he isn't greeted with his usual welcome home kiss. it's been a shit day and all he wants from renren is a kiss. a kiss!!! and a hug. just some simple comfort for him to fall into and not have to think about the world at large.
but instead he's greeted by some weird phrase, like ren is teasing him, and the sheer "what the fuck" gets him to open his eyes.
and ryuji is 100% certain he straight up blacked out for a moment.
the sight in front of him is so much to process, far more than anything a palace or mementos could give. part of him wonders if he's just having some weird kinky dream on the train home, his weird ass subconscious mind trying to tell him something.
but ryuji is fairly certain this is all real, mostly because he doesn't want to wake up to see everyone on the train being painfully judgmental at his instant boner. if ren was wondering how successful this little surprise is, how hard ryuji became in mere seconds should be more than telling.
he's still not sure how to emotionally process this. ren wouldn't do this just as teasing material, he loves him too much to be that mean. and while ren would absolutely put this much effort into a prank or joke, it doesn't feel like it. part of his shock is how ren is going all out for this. he got everything, the headband, the stockings, a perfectly frilly but not overly cutesy skirt. it's almost illegal how good ren looks.
and it only takes a few moments longer before ryuji's entire face is bright red, realizing how much he adores this view. ren's legs are perfect in those stockings, smooth and long and just flawless. even the dress shapes him well despite not having the curves needed for it. it's slimming, showing ren's more slender side despite ryuji knowing he has firm muscles under the satin.
this is so far out of left field, even for ren, and part of ryuji wonders if ren is trying to spice up their sex life now that there's no phantom thieves to change the hearts of corrupt adults. ryuji is certainly having a change of heart in regards to his kinks.
so much for being vanilla.
ryuji isn't even sure what he should be doing, all he's capable of doing on a tired, exhausted brain is stare, and he stares. his gaze coasts up and down, looking at every detail, how perfectly the outfit falls on ren, and still wondering what the absolute fuck brought this on. he's not even able to form a coherent sentence, instead just standing there with his mouth hanging open.)
[ If Ryuji were a computer, he would be displaying a critical error right about now. He's every bit as dumbfounded as Ren hoped, maybe even... more? The gaze he's giving is definitely appreciative, but he's said absolutely nothing and isn't giving any indication that he's about to come any closer.
Well, Ren has plenty of experience leading. He can deal with this, right? ]
You had a long day. [ A hint of something sharp, something smug, flashes through his eyes as he speaks, but it's gone just as quick as it came, and Ren starts to move.
His footsteps are silent against the flooring, thieflike, though it's more thanks to the stockings than him trying to sneak. Finding shoes to suit the outfit in his size seemed like a bit too much of an undertaking when this outfit will never see the light of day.
Coming close, Ren reaches for his hand, fingers curling to press their palms together. The motion is second nature now, but he doesn't follow it with any further affection like he normally would. A maid would never be so bold as to go for a kiss without express permission.
(oh, ryuji is absolutely adoring the view in front of him, that much is for sure. he knows he should move or speak or react in some way, but it's been a long and tiring day, and coming home to his boyfriend awakening his sexuality is not something he had planned today.
god, ren is just so hot, ryuji needs to process that more than anything. his mind is running too fast yet not reacting quick enough all at the same time.
before he has time to do anything, or maybe just so much time has passed without ryuji realizing it, ren is only inches away from him, and it's like he's been mentally teleported back to being in high school and just coming to terms with his feelings. he's downright shy, ducking his gaze, even more so under that flash of attitude ryuji's not sure he saw or not.
has ren always smelled this good? was his skin always this soft? just how far did ren go for this? was it really just a spur of the moment decision to ryuji having a long day?
then, of course, there's the questions that come with his boyfriend leaning hard into the maid act. does ren have something planned as usual? or is he giving ryuji free reign to request whatever he wants? it's embarrassing, but all the possibilities are only getting ryuji harder, almost to the point of discomfort.
but ren is speaking, to him, and ryuji snaps back to reality long enough to at least string a few words together and form a somewhat coherent sentence.) Uh... y-yeah. Okay.
(though he says that, ryuji still makes no move to change their situation. with ren's hand still in his, ryuji stands awkwardly at the door, red faced and admiring as he lets himself gaze shamelessly over every inch of ren's body. if he winds up being too turned on to do anything to take advantage of this, then he's at least going to commit the sight to memory.)
[ Despite the breeziness of the costume, Ren is starting to feel heated beneath the fabric. He's always had that show-off streak in him, and Ryuji's appreciative gaze is weighty like a touch, leaving warmth in its wake as he rakes it over Ren's body. At least the flared skirt does a better job of hiding his half-hard cock better than Ryuji's pants are. It's far too soon for cracks to appear in his act.
He gives it no more than a cursory glance before he leads Ryuji by the hand, slow steps taking them farther into the apartment. ]
Do you want to start with dinner?
[ If he's hungry, Ren really will make sure he's fed before they move on to the rest of their night. The end goal may be obvious, but he fully intends to dote on Ryuji as much as he desires before then. ]
Or would you like a massage? Or... something else? [ His voice dips lower with that question, feet stilling, though his hand remains clasped against Ryuji's. ]
(even if ren outright told ryuji he was turned on and his performance was starting to crack slightly, ryuji wouldn't even believe him. he's far too into the part in ryuji's eyes, after all. the way ren calls him "master" sends chills down his spine, and oh, ryuji is absolutely into this. ren is so calm and composed and downright seductive, it's like he was born for it.
if their relationship turns into ren sexually awakening all of ryuji's fantasies he didn't even know he had, there are no complaints from him.
he slowly starts to regain his own composure the more ren treats all of it as normal, which in turn helps ryuji adjust to it. ren is standing in front of him, looking the most sultry he ever has, offering ryuji the world. there are so many possibilities, they can jump right into sex, ryuji already imagining ren pinned against the wall as he thrusts into him. or ren could feed him a homemade dinner, maybe even right off his body if ryuji asks--
there's too many choices, too many routes. it's like a dating sim with no bad end. but even with everything outlandish ryuji could possibly ask for, there's only one thing in this moment he wants more than anything else.
taking ren's free hand and holding it up to cup his cheek, ryuji gives a bashful smile, his voice still tired but also trying to cover up how desperate he sounds.) Can I just have my welcome home kiss for now?
[ Leave it to Ryuji to make such a simple request when he's got Ren, pliable and willing, at his fingertips. The sharpness in his eyes fades to fondness, but all of the want remains as he offers a smile. ]
As you wish.
[ One step is all it takes to fit his front to Ryuji's, the ruffles of the skirt crushed between them as he presses in. Ryuji may even be able to feel the beginnings of his arousal beneath them, though the kiss that Ren initiates is completely chaste, a soft press of lips and no more. Idly, in the back of his mind, he thinks that if this is as far as the night went, he wouldn't be dissatisfied.
Is there a part of him that wants Ryuji to bend him over the counter and have his way with him like he's offering? Absolutely. But what his heart wants is right here: the warmth of Ryuji's hand over his, the clear affection in his smile, the way their mouths fit together like they've carved a special space for each other there. He lets the kiss linger, just briefly, before pulling back, and it takes a conscious effort not to murmur something loving.
Instead, he has another smile waiting to replace the dumbly smitten look that tends to happen whenever they share moments like this one. The act is back in full force. ]
(today is the day. today is the date. this is by far one of the most important dates for ryuji sakamoto in all his days of living.
he finally gets to take his (fake) boyfriend out on a date.
going against his usual carefree, go with the flow attitude, ryuji took initiative in preparing for this date. he bought the tickets well in advance to avoid wasting time in long lines for destinyland, he scoured the website to find a photographer and hire them at a specific time for a commemorative photo, he even pulled extra shifts at his part time job to afford any souvenirs or trinkets ren could possibly want.
all in all, ryuji felt confident he was being a picture perfect boyfriend. even if it all wound up being for nothing in the end. he'll still try, still do everything he can to impress ren, to prove that he didn't make a mistake in choosing to trust ryuji in such an elaborate scheme.
all morning, ryuji was a bundle of excitement, and whenever ren asked why he was so excited, it was always the same answer. "i get to spend the day with my best friend". as if it was somehow different than the days they spend sprawled on the couch, making fun of trashy reality shows or bitching at video games for being needlessly complicated because they weren't bad at them.
after a quick train ride, ren and ryuji arrived at destinyland, and ryuji silently shook his fist in victory. it wasn't completely devoid of life, but the park wasn't crowded or busy at all. his research into the best day to go had paid off, and really, ryuji couldn't help but feel proud of himself for managing such a smooth start to their date.
once inside the park, ryuji turns to ren with a bright smile on his face, more than elated he's going on an actual (fake) date with ren. and he already knows where the first stop is.) Hey, you said you wanted to get matching headbands, remember? I'm holding you to that. (pointing to one of said headband stalls right by the entrance, ready for customers to spend their day in various animal ears.)
[ With the planning out of his hands, the matter of the date falls to the background for a while. Much more pressing are the day-to-day effects of their agreement. Though small, there's a shift between them towards more affectionate gestures: a passing touch to an arm or a waist, a quick brush of fingers through hair, hands finding each other while they're on the couch. It's practice Ren tells himself as he initiates his fair share and feels his heart threaten to jump out of his chest each time that Ryuji smiles at him as a result. They've got to sell this.
The date is important to that goal, too. Ren doesn't forget—not that he could when Ryuji seems so excited about it, all through the morning, breakfast and getting ready and the subsequent train ride, right up to and through the ticketing gates, into the park proper.
Adjusting the collar of his shirt (nothing particularly special, since this isn't exactly the type of date one dresses up for), he surveys the scene. Despite the almost cloudless sky overhead, the temperature is mild enough that it's not uncomfortable. And yet, the main path leading farther into the park is only sparsely populated with couples and families moving here and there. ]
It's not even crowded. That's lucky.
[ It seems like they're starting the day off on the right foot. That energy rolling off Ryuji is infectious, an answering smile peeking out when Ren looks over at the stall. ] You don't have to ask twice. [ That look grows a little devious when he turns it back towards Ryuji. ] But how about we pick each other's?
[ Not only does it seem like fun, but it does seem like something a couple would do. ]
(with ren smiling at him like that, ryuji can't help but be proud of himself. the day is off to an amazing start, and ryuji clenches his fist to himself, feeling more triumphant about today than ever. it's all fake, none of it will actually mean anything in the end, but ryuji wants to give every ounce of energy he can to making what precious time he has in this relationship work.) Yeah, I spent forever looking up what days were slowest so we'd have a chance to do everything.
(after all, ren deserves nothing less than all of ryuji's best efforts. he just can't stop himself from smiling. he's on a date with ren. a real date. if ryuji wasn't worried about overstepping boundaries, he'd kiss ren and never stop.
but as it stands, this is their first real date in their fake relationship, and ryuji is going to play it as safe as he possibly can when in comes to physical affection. scaring ren off because he got a little too handsy? not an option.
even still, at ren's suggestion, ryuji returns the smile with a devilish one of his own with a low chuckle, grabbing ren's hand and dragging him to the stand. oh, if they're going to play up the couple aspect, ryuji will get ren so embarrassed, he can't speak.) Oh, nice idea, Renren. You better get ready for this.
(while they may be a couple, they're also still best friends. and that means ryuji does awful best friend things, like picking up the sparkliest, glitteriest, pinkest pair of cat ears possible, holding them out to ren.) Hey, hey, this one suits you.
[ Ren's feet follow along instinctually with the tug, tracing Ryuji's steps to the stall, all while his brain gets caught on the wave of warmth that rolls through him. He really did put a lot of thought into this, didn't he? He's not nearly as wild and impulsive as everyone seems to think, but the preparation put into today goes beyond even what Ren is used to.
Ryuji is such a good friend.
(Friend, he has to remind himself as he watches the blond boy excitedly peruse the rainbow of headbands. Don't make this harder on yourself, Ren.)
He turns to browse as well, trying to figure out which would best suit Ryuji. He's barely had time to consider the options when he's already being called over, turning to find the sparkly monstrosity in Ryuji's hands.
Of course he would. Take it all back, he's not considerate at all.
Inwardly, though, Ren is laughing even as he stuffs his hands into his pockets and resolutely stays where he is. ]
You sure? It looks like it'd go nicer with blond hair.
(ryuji would never give ren anything but his full and absolute best. if ryuji says he's planning a date, then he does everything in his power to make it a date ren would love, even if it is just a fake date. and if he just doesn't think about it, it'll all just seem like a normal bro hang out.
just with kissing and hand holding and all the stuff that makes ryuji the happiest he's ever been.
while ren is defiant and refusing to let ryuji have his way, ryuji himself is only getting more playful by the second. ren's hand in his pockets means he can't quickly stop ryuji from doing anything.
in one swift movement, ryuji plants the glitter monstrosity on ren's head. and leaves it there. seeing ren amamiya, the cool, stoic-faced leader of the phantom thieves, with bright pink, sparkly cat ears on his head makes ryuji absolutely lose his shit.
right there, in the middle of the shop, ryuji is clutching his sides in laughter while he stares at the love of his life looking the dumbest he ever has.) Dude. You look great. You've gotta get those!
[ He realizes his mistake a moment too late. Ren is quick, but Ryuji is faster in this state. Before he can even pull his hands from his pockets, he's been adorned with a glittery pair of cat ears.
Well. Nothing else to do now other than own it. Especially if that's the reaction it gets from Ryuji: guffaws so loud and enthusiastic that it's a wonder he's not laid out on the floor with them. It's pure joy, and Ren is happy to have played a part in putting it there, even if it was just posing as an unwilling model for some garish headgear. ]
You think? [ There are a few mirrors set up around the racks of headbands, so he sidesteps to look into one, framing his chin in the vee of his thumb and pointer finger.
It's... ridiculous, honestly. Ann might be the only person he knows capable of truly pulling these off, but... hey, they are kind of cute, looking at them independently of his curly black hair that they don't go with at all. ]
Okay then. [ It was his suggestion to do it this way, after all. And that means... ] Now to pick one for you.
[ And Ren intends to fit him with something equally gaudy. It takes browsing the selection a bit, but soon his eyes land on something that make them light up. That's it. He emerges with a pure white pair of mouse ears in hand, with a sequined bow in between and a short but flowing white veil attached. ]
(pure black and red ears would have suit ren far much better, but ryuji isn't going for what suits ren. this is a date, and that means making it as fun and silly and unforgettable as possible. even more so with this being their first actual date.
the entire store is staring with how hard ryuji is laughing, but he can't even care at this point. staring at his boyfriend in cat ears that are completely unsuited for him is nothing sort of delightful. he'll take the judgmental stares and rude eyerolls and whatever else people may give him, so long as he can share this moment with his boyfriend.
that is, until ren returns with something even gaudier than what ryuji picked up. his laughter slowly dies off the longer he looks at it, and within moments, he's even blushing just from the thought of having to wear that. probably the only person in the world it would look good on would be ann. and she'd murder anyone who tries to even get it near her.
shit. time to see if he can worm his way out of this.) C'mon, dude, you gotta at least buy me dinner first. Marriage already?
(it's a weak attempt to get out of it and he knows it, but he can try.)
[ Oh, so Ryuji can dish it out, but he can't take it in return? Not if Ren has anything to say about it. He lowers the ears slightly so that attention will be drawn solely to his really? expression, eyebrows quirked behind his curly hair. ]
How many dinners have I bought you over the years? If that's what we're going by, we should've been married before we finished high school.
[ Enjoy that hole you're digging yourself into, Ryuji. Ren sure is.
He approaches with slow, casual steps, as if trying to avoid spooking a flighty animal. The headband remains in his hands, held loosely in front. ]
Look, you've even got the blushing part of "blushing bride" down...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
itt: internal screaming all around
They start out seeming like good ones, right up until the other shoe drops. Helping out a woman being harassed by a drunkard, checking out the imposing castle that stood where his school was supposed to be, and, more recently, moving in with his best friend whom he may or may not be mildly attracted to. Just to name a few.
For what it's worth, his bad ideas typically come full circle, arriving at a happy outcome in the end. He was able to come to Tokyo, met his friends, and went on the adventure of his life—and honestly? That one inconvenient detail aside, living with Ryuji has been a blast so far.
This one, though... Ren isn't sure it's capable of ending well.
It starts out innocent enough, with a phone call from his mother. His parents aren't quite as intent on ignoring his existence as they were when he was on probation; the year back home was small but steady progress towards repairing a relationship that was hardly even there in the first place. Still, it hasn't stopped them from thinking they know what's best for him, despite all evidence pointing towards Ren having little to no interest in following whatever road map they want to lay before him.
Dating is part of that. His mother, in particular, seems endlessly concerned with his love life, or lack thereof. It makes sense. Ren is an only child, after all, and well... He supposes he did kind of bring it upon himself when he let it come up in conversation one day that he is, in no uncertain terms, also interested in men. He should have foreseen that she would react this way, but if there's one thing he learned in Tokyo, it's that he doesn't want to hide his true self anymore.
So when their conversation turns once again to that dreaded subject, his mother detailing her coworker's accomplished and very single daughter, it sort of just—slips out. That he's seeing someone. Which he's not, but it shuts her up.
Only for a second, though. She presses him for details, obviously, a name and occupation, and Ren's usually restrained demeanor slips, something more petulant rearing its head. ]
It's Ryuji.
[ Yeah, those are actual words that left his mouth. Ren has what almost feels like an out-of-body experience as he utters them, similar to watching a car crash in slow motion. Oh no.
The exchange doesn't last much longer after that. His mother tries to tell him the same thing as last time: that whatever strange preferences being in the city has impressed upon him are just a passing thing, that he'll want to settle down for real and start a family once he decides to be serious about his future. And this time, Ren efficiently steers the conversation to an end. Probably a good thing, because now he has to figure out how to go back on what he just said without it only encouraging his mother to double down on her efforts.
A day passes, and he's no closer to an answer to that dilemma than he was right after hanging up. But now, sprawled across half of the couch the following evening, one foot kicked up against Ryuji's knee as he only half-watches whatever TV show his roommate picked out, another possibility picks at the corner of his brain. ]
What would you say if I asked you to date me? [ No preamble, no explanation, just sounding vaguely wondering. A lot of their conversations start off like this, with some inane question just thrown out there, except that it's never a hypothetical relationship proposition. ]
internal screaming: the psl
ryuji was right there waiting, knowing for certain ren would come home to his real family. the one that mattered. the one that cared.
and with that, it was like nothing had changed between them. sure, ryuji asked the standard 'how was home' questions, but he was always far more interested in taking ren on some other adventure, or whatever harebrained scheme the two of them managed to cook up. everything was different with ren, more exciting, more meaningful, more important. ryuji's most heartwarming memories are all from the time he met ren and onwards.
of course, his growing romantic feelings certainly had plenty to do with that.
ryuji's not sure when he started developing feelings for ren, or when they became more than just a schoolboy crush. but it wasn't long before his thoughts of how cool ren was changed to how hot he was or how nice it would be to hold his hand or what a good kisser he'd be.
it's things like that that made moving in and living together both a blessing and a curse. seeing ren with bedhead, after he gets out of the shower, cooking both of them dinner, it was the closest he got to having a boyfriend. ann has gotten many a late night text where he laments his torture of only being able to look, not touch.
after enough time living in the same space, he slowly grew used to it, allowing it all to be his new normal. seeing ren focus intently on the coffee in the morning, homemade lunches he pretended were from his boyfriend, going on runs together and watching the sweat glisten on ren's forehead, coming home to casually drape over each other as they watch tv. it's become so much more peaceful than their lives were in high school, it's almost jarring how wide the difference is.
though with how easily they both fell into this lifestyle, ryuji certainly has no complaints.
like how the current day is. ren laying close beside him so casually, no reservations, no hesitation, no need to really learn to get comfortable with each other. it's such a normal day for them, with ryuji zoning out to the tv, that he barely registers ren's question until he mentally replays it a few times.
and what a replay it is. there's practically a record scratch as it hits him what ren just asked. his mind is so overrun with questions and confusion and general wait what the fuck that it takes a while before ryuji can even properly vocalize an answer that isn't just "uh?????". what does it mean? is he actually asking ryuji out on a date? is this just another hypothetical? does it have a special meaning behind it? will this end with ryuji crying in his bedroom again?
the confusion and shock is clear on his face as he turns to face ren, full on deer in headlights:) Eh? What?
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My mom was trying to set me up again.
[ Ryuji's heard about this more than a few times by now. It takes a lot to get underneath Ren's skin, but this is something that's grown to bother him to the point of mild venting. Truly a feat. ]
I didn't feel like hearing it, so I told her I'm seeing someone already. [ The fact that he didn't think said claim through before blurting it out is implied.
But now, there's clearly more that he does intend to say, though it's one of those rare moments where he seems somewhat unsure of how to go about phrasing it. The ball of his foot taps against Ryuji's knee, a small giveaway of his uncertainty.
Well, better start with the facts. ]
... I told her it's you.
[ And why did he do that? Ren's been asking himself for the past twenty-four hours. On paper, Ryuji's the best candidate: They live together, know almost everything about one another, and will always go out on a limb to help each other. But Ren really should've been smart enough to name someone he doesn't occasionally think about kissing. That's playing with fire.
When doesn't he go that route, though? It's like his brain is trying to make up for the lack of high stakes adventure in his life these days. ]
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rather than try to deal with all his overwhelming thought ryuji ops for the simple route of choosing one thing at a time and dealing with them in that order.
so hearing that ren's mother is, once again, nagging him for something as useless as dating has him rolling his eyes, along with a downright ignored ugh.) Seriously? Is she still going on about the "starting a family" bullshit?
(with every conversation about ren's mother, ryuji constantly wonders why there aren't more mothers like his own. she's supportive of everything he does, always trying to do better for him, and ren deserves all that and more.
and there's truly no better support for a young boy in agonizing love than an understanding and gentle mother. he's lost track of how many times she's listened to him struggle through his feelings regarding ren.
speaking of which, he still has to find a way to answer the other half of this. it still gives ryuji more joy to know that he was ren's first choice for dating partners to get his mother to shut up. hell, it almost brings a soft blush to his cheeks.
as ren's foot taps his knee, it helps him come up with a sort of thought process. asking if it means anything would make their whole relationship too awkward to ever repair, but just ignoring it won't make the problem go away. ryuji lets out a long, contemplative hum, before turning to ren with his chin resting in his hand.) So... what do you want to do? I'm guessing telling her the truth would just make it worse.
(might as well add fuel to the fire, see where ren wants to take this. it's not like ryuji's heart can get anymore broken after already knowing the feelings would never be mutual.)
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[ See, people don't give Ryuji enough credit. They see the blond hair and the surly expression and assume he's a delinquent with no emotional capacity, hear the way he speaks and assume he's an idiot. Even if Ren and their friends give him a hard time occasionally, they know there's a lot more to Ryuji than meets the eye. Like now, when he can see right into the heart of the issue.
If Ren comes clean, it would only make her feel like she's more justified in her line of thinking. There's always the option of avoiding speaking to her, but... for all that he feels like they don't truly understand him, he doesn't want to stop trying to build what he never had when he was younger.
Now that he's about to come out with the rest of his thoughts, he shifts, sliding his feet down to the floor so that he can sit up properly—or about as properly as he ever does, slouching a bit into the cushions as he glances at the television. ]
I was thinking that we could fake it. Just enough to convince her that it's real.
[ Enough to get her to drop the subject and let him carry on with his life in that regard, at least. ]
It's fine if you're not up for that, though. [ Ren meets his eyes now, offering him a half-smile to reassure that he really would be okay with that. ] I know it's a weird request.
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then again, ryuji and ren have never really been "normal people", even before the phantom thieves. so while it's a different kind of bizarre, it's not something ryuji is inherently opposed to.
but he won't lie to himself. the idea of dating ren, even if it's all just for show, fills him with a bit of joy he hasn't felt in quite some time.
now fully ignoring his show, he leans back into the couch in a similar manner with a sigh. all he can do is shrug.) Dude, we lived weird for months. Pretending to date is probably the least weird thing we've done this year.
(he says while his heart is still dealing with those pesky conflicting emotions. half of it is breaking, half of it is soaring. he'll get to date ren, but only in appearances.
the much easier option is to instead focus on how all of this is going to affect ren's mom. this is some sweet, delicious revenge for all the bullshit ren's on own family put him through. ryuji is admittedly a little angrier than he should be, but that's likely to happen when the person you love the most is still dealing with backlash on things that weren't his fault.
ryuji gets downright devious, letting out his usual cocky laugh when he comes up with a good plan or gets the drop on a shadow.) Plus, it'll be a good little payback for her. She tells you to start dating, and you pick the one guy who has the delinquent look down perfectly. D'you think she'll be more horrified, or disgusted?
(he's no stranger to his own appearance, more than aware of how he looks and comes off to people. and while it might be a little self-deprecating, if he can use people's skewed perception of himself to his advantage, especially for ren, he won't hesitate.)
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Then that hint of a smile is twitching wider at the sound of Ryuji's laugh. ]
More disappointed than anything, probably. [ That seems to be the overarching theme of their feelings towards Ren. Maybe that's why he feels like he can run with this ridiculous idea—he's already so used to that sort of reaction to his decisions.
But now that he can actually allow himself to consider this plan on a deeper level than "what if," Ren twists a curl of hair around his finger as he thinks. ]
At first I thought about just staging some pictures, but I don't know if that will be enough… She might have to see it in person to be convinced.
[ A prospect that leaves his lips pressing into a thin line. Introducing Ryuji to his parents isn't exactly something he's been eager to do. For all that Ren loves them, they're the kind of people who will take one look at him and make snap decisions. ]
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while in the past, ryuji might have been offended at the idea that more adults would be disappointed in him at only a glance, snap judgments that shine ryuji in a bad light no matter what he does, now he finds himself hardly caring. sure, it still gets under his skin, but he doesn't let the opinions of others get to him as much.
why should it? everyone who knows the real him accepts him and loves him for who he is. and that's more than he ever thought he'd get.
knowing for certain ren's parents will be disappointed has him grinning wider, already cooking up a few schemes to really sell it.) Then let's go for gold. I can get a fake tattoo and pretend I'm part of the yakuza. Scare 'em shitless a bit.
(should he really be talking about his romantic interest's family this way, probably not. but did they start it by giving unrealistic and forced expectations on a son who's trying to do the right thing? absolutely.
but when ren gets to talking about how it might have to be faked in real time, that's when ryuji gets a little more nervous. not for any reasons of being nervous they'll get caught in a lie, but that they won't. that ren's parents will find out ryuji is actually in love with him. it's the ultimate bad end. how would they react? would they even be able to do anything? would ren be so disgusted, he'd ditch ryuji immediately?
okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch, even ryuji knows it. but feelings are messy, complicated, and sometimes terrifying things. he tries to brush off his own paranoia by humming thoughtfully, sinking further into the couch as he racks his brain for a solution.) How far are you willing to take it? Just show me to your parents and be like "hey see we're a couple, bye". Or like kissing 'n shit?
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I'm trying to convince them, not give them heart attacks. [ The words are light and unperturbed, though.
And then Ryuji brings up a good point. How far is he willing to take this? How far does he need to? There's really no telling on the latter, but Ren can't say that he's opposed to the idea of kissing Ryuji. Not at all. It's just that doing it under false pretenses and secretly getting enjoyment out of it seems kind of…
Yeah.
But if Ryuji is the one bringing it up, would he really mind that much…?
Ren shakes the thought loose so that he can focus on responding. ]
I don't think just introducing you would be enough. [ If anything, that might make her more doubtful. Like he's trying to prove it without anything substantial to back it up. They already know Ryuji exists and that they're close enough that he would probably agree to something like saying he's Ren's boyfriend if asked. They have to make it seem like something they wouldn't go as far as to fake.
Damn it, his mind keeps coming back to kissing. ]
We'd have to sell it. [ Make it seem like it's second nature. ] Like it's just how we act around each other. So things like touching each other and the way we look at each other and—maybe kissing when they think we think they're not looking.
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at a certain point in the day, his anger and frustration dissipated into a tired feeling of exhaustion and defeat at the day. he overworked himself at practice, with his leg not being fully healed just yet, and was forced to sit on the sidelines to prevent causing an even worse injury. classes weren't even on his mind, too many notes of what to ask his various professors scribbled down haphazardly in his notebooks. and he thought high school was an academic challenge.
then to make matters worse, his job seemed to be filled with nothing but rude, demanding customers throughout his entire shift. constantly looking down on him for being such a "delinquent" type, assuming that since it took him longer than a minute to find something, he must be incompetent, various complaints even though he hadn't done a thing wrong.
it's all enough to make him miss the phantom thieves and being able to change people's hearts to be less dickish.
the only thing getting him through the day is the thought of coming home to his boyfriend. ren would be there, a smile on his face and a welcome home kiss without even needing to be prompted. they'd cuddle on the couch, eventually get up to make dinner together, with ryuji kissing the back of ren's neck all the while, watching silly tv as they talk about their days and plan their weekend date.
it was normal, peaceful, simple. the thought of ren was enough to let him take a breath and not snap at anyone, drudge through the day without too much grumbling. ren's entire presence was just so healing for ryuji, sometimes he wonders how he grew to love one person so much.
when he finally makes it home, it's temping to just open the door and collapse on the floor and never move again. but ren's arms are far more inviting, so through sheer willpower, he remains upright as he slams the door behind him with a thud, kicking off his shoes and leaning against the wall, eyes closed to let the exhaustion wash over.) Renreeeeeeeeen, m'home.
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Today, though, the plans are a bit different.
It lines up well, actually, without him ever meaning for it to. Between a cancelled class and having the day off work, he ends up with a vast amount of free time in the afternoon. Conveniently so, because he has a coffee date (in the most platonic meaning of the word—actual dates are something he shares only with Ryuji) that's needed to happen for a few days now.
Maybe treating his former homeroom teacher to coffee is a bit unusual, but Ren's relationship with Kawakami has never really been typical. That actually came up recently in a conversation with Ryuji: the fact that during their Thieving days, he was regularly receiving massages from the teacher in full maid garb—once again, completely platonic. He was, understandably, kind of floored by the information, and the look in his eyes got Ren wondering.
So that's why Kawakami has a nondescript bag waiting for him when they meet, the mirth clear in her eyes when she hands it over. Shut it, Becky, Ren tells her, humor plain in his own tone, before they get start getting caught up.
The outfit, he finds later that evening, is more comfortable than he would have guessed. It feels weird going on, but once Ren has slid into the full maid getup, from the white stockings to the slightly flared skirt all the way to the frilled hairband that he has to fight with to stand it up straight among the mess of his hair… it's not so bad. And he doesn't look so bad, either, he's not ashamed to note as he slides the glasses from his nose while examining himself in the mirror. Definitely not a soft, petite maid ready to do fulfill her master's every wish, but his legs do look especially long underneath the short, ruffled skirt, the black-bowed ribbon adorning the neckpiece a sharp contrast against his pale skin.
It turns out to be a good thing that the costume is comfortable. Ryuji takes longer than usual to arrive home, and by the time the sound of the door opening finally rings through their apartment, Ren has to scramble up from where he's stretched out across the couch to lounge in a decidedly unladylike manner. He pats down his skirt, straightens the neckline, and takes one more moment to wrangle the headband into submission again, and then he's walking out to greet Ryuji, hands clasped in front of him. ]
Welcome home, Master. [ He's way too into this, but Ryuji's reaction is going to be worth it. ]
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but instead he's greeted by some weird phrase, like ren is teasing him, and the sheer "what the fuck" gets him to open his eyes.
and ryuji is 100% certain he straight up blacked out for a moment.
the sight in front of him is so much to process, far more than anything a palace or mementos could give. part of him wonders if he's just having some weird kinky dream on the train home, his weird ass subconscious mind trying to tell him something.
but ryuji is fairly certain this is all real, mostly because he doesn't want to wake up to see everyone on the train being painfully judgmental at his instant boner. if ren was wondering how successful this little surprise is, how hard ryuji became in mere seconds should be more than telling.
he's still not sure how to emotionally process this. ren wouldn't do this just as teasing material, he loves him too much to be that mean. and while ren would absolutely put this much effort into a prank or joke, it doesn't feel like it. part of his shock is how ren is going all out for this. he got everything, the headband, the stockings, a perfectly frilly but not overly cutesy skirt. it's almost illegal how good ren looks.
and it only takes a few moments longer before ryuji's entire face is bright red, realizing how much he adores this view. ren's legs are perfect in those stockings, smooth and long and just flawless. even the dress shapes him well despite not having the curves needed for it. it's slimming, showing ren's more slender side despite ryuji knowing he has firm muscles under the satin.
this is so far out of left field, even for ren, and part of ryuji wonders if ren is trying to spice up their sex life now that there's no phantom thieves to change the hearts of corrupt adults. ryuji is certainly having a change of heart in regards to his kinks.
so much for being vanilla.
ryuji isn't even sure what he should be doing, all he's capable of doing on a tired, exhausted brain is stare, and he stares. his gaze coasts up and down, looking at every detail, how perfectly the outfit falls on ren, and still wondering what the absolute fuck brought this on. he's not even able to form a coherent sentence, instead just standing there with his mouth hanging open.)
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Well, Ren has plenty of experience leading. He can deal with this, right? ]
You had a long day. [ A hint of something sharp, something smug, flashes through his eyes as he speaks, but it's gone just as quick as it came, and Ren starts to move.
His footsteps are silent against the flooring, thieflike, though it's more thanks to the stockings than him trying to sneak. Finding shoes to suit the outfit in his size seemed like a bit too much of an undertaking when this outfit will never see the light of day.
Coming close, Ren reaches for his hand, fingers curling to press their palms together. The motion is second nature now, but he doesn't follow it with any further affection like he normally would. A maid would never be so bold as to go for a kiss without express permission.
He's nothing if not committed to this act. ]
Let me help you unwind, Master.
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god, ren is just so hot, ryuji needs to process that more than anything. his mind is running too fast yet not reacting quick enough all at the same time.
before he has time to do anything, or maybe just so much time has passed without ryuji realizing it, ren is only inches away from him, and it's like he's been mentally teleported back to being in high school and just coming to terms with his feelings. he's downright shy, ducking his gaze, even more so under that flash of attitude ryuji's not sure he saw or not.
has ren always smelled this good? was his skin always this soft? just how far did ren go for this? was it really just a spur of the moment decision to ryuji having a long day?
then, of course, there's the questions that come with his boyfriend leaning hard into the maid act. does ren have something planned as usual? or is he giving ryuji free reign to request whatever he wants? it's embarrassing, but all the possibilities are only getting ryuji harder, almost to the point of discomfort.
but ren is speaking, to him, and ryuji snaps back to reality long enough to at least string a few words together and form a somewhat coherent sentence.) Uh... y-yeah. Okay.
(though he says that, ryuji still makes no move to change their situation. with ren's hand still in his, ryuji stands awkwardly at the door, red faced and admiring as he lets himself gaze shamelessly over every inch of ren's body. if he winds up being too turned on to do anything to take advantage of this, then he's at least going to commit the sight to memory.)
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He gives it no more than a cursory glance before he leads Ryuji by the hand, slow steps taking them farther into the apartment. ]
Do you want to start with dinner?
[ If he's hungry, Ren really will make sure he's fed before they move on to the rest of their night. The end goal may be obvious, but he fully intends to dote on Ryuji as much as he desires before then. ]
Or would you like a massage? Or... something else? [ His voice dips lower with that question, feet stilling, though his hand remains clasped against Ryuji's. ]
I'll do whatever you want me to, Master.
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if their relationship turns into ren sexually awakening all of ryuji's fantasies he didn't even know he had, there are no complaints from him.
he slowly starts to regain his own composure the more ren treats all of it as normal, which in turn helps ryuji adjust to it. ren is standing in front of him, looking the most sultry he ever has, offering ryuji the world. there are so many possibilities, they can jump right into sex, ryuji already imagining ren pinned against the wall as he thrusts into him. or ren could feed him a homemade dinner, maybe even right off his body if ryuji asks--
there's too many choices, too many routes. it's like a dating sim with no bad end. but even with everything outlandish ryuji could possibly ask for, there's only one thing in this moment he wants more than anything else.
taking ren's free hand and holding it up to cup his cheek, ryuji gives a bashful smile, his voice still tired but also trying to cover up how desperate he sounds.) Can I just have my welcome home kiss for now?
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As you wish.
[ One step is all it takes to fit his front to Ryuji's, the ruffles of the skirt crushed between them as he presses in. Ryuji may even be able to feel the beginnings of his arousal beneath them, though the kiss that Ren initiates is completely chaste, a soft press of lips and no more. Idly, in the back of his mind, he thinks that if this is as far as the night went, he wouldn't be dissatisfied.
Is there a part of him that wants Ryuji to bend him over the counter and have his way with him like he's offering? Absolutely. But what his heart wants is right here: the warmth of Ryuji's hand over his, the clear affection in his smile, the way their mouths fit together like they've carved a special space for each other there. He lets the kiss linger, just briefly, before pulling back, and it takes a conscious effort not to murmur something loving.
Instead, he has another smile waiting to replace the dumbly smitten look that tends to happen whenever they share moments like this one. The act is back in full force. ]
Your maid missed you.
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he finally gets to take his (fake) boyfriend out on a date.
going against his usual carefree, go with the flow attitude, ryuji took initiative in preparing for this date. he bought the tickets well in advance to avoid wasting time in long lines for destinyland, he scoured the website to find a photographer and hire them at a specific time for a commemorative photo, he even pulled extra shifts at his part time job to afford any souvenirs or trinkets ren could possibly want.
all in all, ryuji felt confident he was being a picture perfect boyfriend. even if it all wound up being for nothing in the end. he'll still try, still do everything he can to impress ren, to prove that he didn't make a mistake in choosing to trust ryuji in such an elaborate scheme.
all morning, ryuji was a bundle of excitement, and whenever ren asked why he was so excited, it was always the same answer. "i get to spend the day with my best friend". as if it was somehow different than the days they spend sprawled on the couch, making fun of trashy reality shows or bitching at video games for being needlessly complicated because they weren't bad at them.
after a quick train ride, ren and ryuji arrived at destinyland, and ryuji silently shook his fist in victory. it wasn't completely devoid of life, but the park wasn't crowded or busy at all. his research into the best day to go had paid off, and really, ryuji couldn't help but feel proud of himself for managing such a smooth start to their date.
once inside the park, ryuji turns to ren with a bright smile on his face, more than elated he's going on an actual (fake) date with ren. and he already knows where the first stop is.) Hey, you said you wanted to get matching headbands, remember? I'm holding you to that. (pointing to one of said headband stalls right by the entrance, ready for customers to spend their day in various animal ears.)
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The date is important to that goal, too. Ren doesn't forget—not that he could when Ryuji seems so excited about it, all through the morning, breakfast and getting ready and the subsequent train ride, right up to and through the ticketing gates, into the park proper.
Adjusting the collar of his shirt (nothing particularly special, since this isn't exactly the type of date one dresses up for), he surveys the scene. Despite the almost cloudless sky overhead, the temperature is mild enough that it's not uncomfortable. And yet, the main path leading farther into the park is only sparsely populated with couples and families moving here and there. ]
It's not even crowded. That's lucky.
[ It seems like they're starting the day off on the right foot. That energy rolling off Ryuji is infectious, an answering smile peeking out when Ren looks over at the stall. ] You don't have to ask twice. [ That look grows a little devious when he turns it back towards Ryuji. ] But how about we pick each other's?
[ Not only does it seem like fun, but it does seem like something a couple would do. ]
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(after all, ren deserves nothing less than all of ryuji's best efforts. he just can't stop himself from smiling. he's on a date with ren. a real date. if ryuji wasn't worried about overstepping boundaries, he'd kiss ren and never stop.
but as it stands, this is their first real date in their fake relationship, and ryuji is going to play it as safe as he possibly can when in comes to physical affection. scaring ren off because he got a little too handsy? not an option.
even still, at ren's suggestion, ryuji returns the smile with a devilish one of his own with a low chuckle, grabbing ren's hand and dragging him to the stand. oh, if they're going to play up the couple aspect, ryuji will get ren so embarrassed, he can't speak.) Oh, nice idea, Renren. You better get ready for this.
(while they may be a couple, they're also still best friends. and that means ryuji does awful best friend things, like picking up the sparkliest, glitteriest, pinkest pair of cat ears possible, holding them out to ren.) Hey, hey, this one suits you.
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Ryuji is such a good friend.
(Friend, he has to remind himself as he watches the blond boy excitedly peruse the rainbow of headbands. Don't make this harder on yourself, Ren.)
He turns to browse as well, trying to figure out which would best suit Ryuji. He's barely had time to consider the options when he's already being called over, turning to find the sparkly monstrosity in Ryuji's hands.
Of course he would. Take it all back, he's not considerate at all.
Inwardly, though, Ren is laughing even as he stuffs his hands into his pockets and resolutely stays where he is. ]
You sure? It looks like it'd go nicer with blond hair.
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just with kissing and hand holding and all the stuff that makes ryuji the happiest he's ever been.
while ren is defiant and refusing to let ryuji have his way, ryuji himself is only getting more playful by the second. ren's hand in his pockets means he can't quickly stop ryuji from doing anything.
in one swift movement, ryuji plants the glitter monstrosity on ren's head. and leaves it there. seeing ren amamiya, the cool, stoic-faced leader of the phantom thieves, with bright pink, sparkly cat ears on his head makes ryuji absolutely lose his shit.
right there, in the middle of the shop, ryuji is clutching his sides in laughter while he stares at the love of his life looking the dumbest he ever has.) Dude. You look great. You've gotta get those!
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Well. Nothing else to do now other than own it. Especially if that's the reaction it gets from Ryuji: guffaws so loud and enthusiastic that it's a wonder he's not laid out on the floor with them. It's pure joy, and Ren is happy to have played a part in putting it there, even if it was just posing as an unwilling model for some garish headgear. ]
You think? [ There are a few mirrors set up around the racks of headbands, so he sidesteps to look into one, framing his chin in the vee of his thumb and pointer finger.
It's... ridiculous, honestly. Ann might be the only person he knows capable of truly pulling these off, but... hey, they are kind of cute, looking at them independently of his curly black hair that they don't go with at all. ]
Okay then. [ It was his suggestion to do it this way, after all. And that means... ] Now to pick one for you.
[ And Ren intends to fit him with something equally gaudy. It takes browsing the selection a bit, but soon his eyes land on something that make them light up. That's it. He emerges with a pure white pair of mouse ears in hand, with a sequined bow in between and a short but flowing white veil attached. ]
Found yours.
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the entire store is staring with how hard ryuji is laughing, but he can't even care at this point. staring at his boyfriend in cat ears that are completely unsuited for him is nothing sort of delightful. he'll take the judgmental stares and rude eyerolls and whatever else people may give him, so long as he can share this moment with his boyfriend.
that is, until ren returns with something even gaudier than what ryuji picked up. his laughter slowly dies off the longer he looks at it, and within moments, he's even blushing just from the thought of having to wear that. probably the only person in the world it would look good on would be ann. and she'd murder anyone who tries to even get it near her.
shit. time to see if he can worm his way out of this.) C'mon, dude, you gotta at least buy me dinner first. Marriage already?
(it's a weak attempt to get out of it and he knows it, but he can try.)
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How many dinners have I bought you over the years? If that's what we're going by, we should've been married before we finished high school.
[ Enjoy that hole you're digging yourself into, Ryuji. Ren sure is.
He approaches with slow, casual steps, as if trying to avoid spooking a flighty animal. The headband remains in his hands, held loosely in front. ]
Look, you've even got the blushing part of "blushing bride" down...
[ He really is having too much fun with this. ]
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