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itt: internal screaming all around

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[ Ren is no stranger to bad ideas.

They start out seeming like good ones, right up until the other shoe drops. Helping out a woman being harassed by a drunkard, checking out the imposing castle that stood where his school was supposed to be, and, more recently, moving in with his best friend whom he may or may not be mildly attracted to. Just to name a few.

For what it's worth, his bad ideas typically come full circle, arriving at a happy outcome in the end. He was able to come to Tokyo, met his friends, and went on the adventure of his life—and honestly? That one inconvenient detail aside, living with Ryuji has been a blast so far.

This one, though... Ren isn't sure it's capable of ending well.

It starts out innocent enough, with a phone call from his mother. His parents aren't quite as intent on ignoring his existence as they were when he was on probation; the year back home was small but steady progress towards repairing a relationship that was hardly even there in the first place. Still, it hasn't stopped them from thinking they know what's best for him, despite all evidence pointing towards Ren having little to no interest in following whatever road map they want to lay before him.

Dating is part of that. His mother, in particular, seems endlessly concerned with his love life, or lack thereof. It makes sense. Ren is an only child, after all, and well... He supposes he did kind of bring it upon himself when he let it come up in conversation one day that he is, in no uncertain terms, also interested in men. He should have foreseen that she would react this way, but if there's one thing he learned in Tokyo, it's that he doesn't want to hide his true self anymore.

So when their conversation turns once again to that dreaded subject, his mother detailing her coworker's accomplished and very single daughter, it sort of just—slips out. That he's seeing someone. Which he's not, but it shuts her up.

Only for a second, though. She presses him for details, obviously, a name and occupation, and Ren's usually restrained demeanor slips, something more petulant rearing its head. ]

It's Ryuji.

[ Yeah, those are actual words that left his mouth. Ren has what almost feels like an out-of-body experience as he utters them, similar to watching a car crash in slow motion. Oh no.

The exchange doesn't last much longer after that. His mother tries to tell him the same thing as last time: that whatever strange preferences being in the city has impressed upon him are just a passing thing, that he'll want to settle down for real and start a family once he decides to be serious about his future. And this time, Ren efficiently steers the conversation to an end. Probably a good thing, because now he has to figure out how to go back on what he just said without it only encouraging his mother to double down on her efforts.

A day passes, and he's no closer to an answer to that dilemma than he was right after hanging up. But now, sprawled across half of the couch the following evening, one foot kicked up against Ryuji's knee as he only half-watches whatever TV show his roommate picked out, another possibility picks at the corner of his brain. ]

What would you say if I asked you to date me? [ No preamble, no explanation, just sounding vaguely wondering. A lot of their conversations start off like this, with some inane question just thrown out there, except that it's never a hypothetical relationship proposition. ]

[trackedrecord]

(it has been a day for ryuji sakamoto. school was rough, his part time job was even rougher, and he somehow managed to miss every single train he needed on his way home, leading for a much longer commute home than ryuji would like.

at a certain point in the day, his anger and frustration dissipated into a tired feeling of exhaustion and defeat at the day. he overworked himself at practice, with his leg not being fully healed just yet, and was forced to sit on the sidelines to prevent causing an even worse injury. classes weren't even on his mind, too many notes of what to ask his various professors scribbled down haphazardly in his notebooks. and he thought high school was an academic challenge.

then to make matters worse, his job seemed to be filled with nothing but rude, demanding customers throughout his entire shift. constantly looking down on him for being such a "delinquent" type, assuming that since it took him longer than a minute to find something, he must be incompetent, various complaints even though he hadn't done a thing wrong.

it's all enough to make him miss the phantom thieves and being able to change people's hearts to be less dickish.

the only thing getting him through the day is the thought of coming home to his boyfriend. ren would be there, a smile on his face and a welcome home kiss without even needing to be prompted. they'd cuddle on the couch, eventually get up to make dinner together, with ryuji kissing the back of ren's neck all the while, watching silly tv as they talk about their days and plan their weekend date.

it was normal, peaceful, simple. the thought of ren was enough to let him take a breath and not snap at anyone, drudge through the day without too much grumbling. ren's entire presence was just so healing for ryuji, sometimes he wonders how he grew to love one person so much.

when he finally makes it home, it's temping to just open the door and collapse on the floor and never move again. but ren's arms are far more inviting, so through sheer willpower, he remains upright as he slams the door behind him with a thud, kicking off his shoes and leaning against the wall, eyes closed to let the exhaustion wash over.) Renreeeeeeeeen, m'home.

[trackedrecord]

(today is the day. today is the date. this is by far one of the most important dates for ryuji sakamoto in all his days of living.

he finally gets to take his (fake) boyfriend out on a date.

going against his usual carefree, go with the flow attitude, ryuji took initiative in preparing for this date. he bought the tickets well in advance to avoid wasting time in long lines for destinyland, he scoured the website to find a photographer and hire them at a specific time for a commemorative photo, he even pulled extra shifts at his part time job to afford any souvenirs or trinkets ren could possibly want.

all in all, ryuji felt confident he was being a picture perfect boyfriend. even if it all wound up being for nothing in the end. he'll still try, still do everything he can to impress ren, to prove that he didn't make a mistake in choosing to trust ryuji in such an elaborate scheme.

all morning, ryuji was a bundle of excitement, and whenever ren asked why he was so excited, it was always the same answer. "i get to spend the day with my best friend". as if it was somehow different than the days they spend sprawled on the couch, making fun of trashy reality shows or bitching at video games for being needlessly complicated because they weren't bad at them.

after a quick train ride, ren and ryuji arrived at destinyland, and ryuji silently shook his fist in victory. it wasn't completely devoid of life, but the park wasn't crowded or busy at all. his research into the best day to go had paid off, and really, ryuji couldn't help but feel proud of himself for managing such a smooth start to their date.

once inside the park, ryuji turns to ren with a bright smile on his face, more than elated he's going on an actual (fake) date with ren. and he already knows where the first stop is.) Hey, you said you wanted to get matching headbands, remember? I'm holding you to that. (pointing to one of said headband stalls right by the entrance, ready for customers to spend their day in various animal ears.)