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joker. ([personal profile] scaling) wrote2018-12-31 10:35 pm

( for [personal profile] fabrications )

Akira hadn't thought seeing him in person would affect him as much as it does. After all, he's had two months to mentally prepare himself for this moment.

And yet, the sight of Goro Akechi, alive and in the flesh, perfectly put-together and looking like he was made to sit under the studio lighting, makes him feel... some kind of way. Unsettled, for sure, knowing what he knows now. Then again, there's a part of him that hasn't stopped feeling unsettled since he first (well, perhaps first isn't accurate) jolted awake to find himself on the train to Yongen-Jaya again. In one piece. Not bleeding out on the ground with a megalomaniacal pseudo-god bearing down on him. And, most importantly, as the only one with any recollection of all they'd been through.

It doesn't take Akira long to come to the most logical conclusion: That somewhere along the line, he screwed up. Somehow, it hadn't been enough, and now he has an opportunity to fix it—which would be a lot easier if he were to have some notion of what, specifically, he needs to fix, or even if this is a one-time deal.

At first, he tries copying his previous motions as closely as possible. People always talk about their regrets like they would change them in a heartbeat, given the chance, but the thought of altering the timeline as he knows it is overwhelming. The more Akira steps away from his previous path, the less accurate his existing knowledge may become, the bigger the chance that he may miss something important from the first time around.

That reasoning goes out the window pretty quickly. Akira finds that he can't watch Shiho Suzui jump off that building again, can't go through hearing that agony in Ann's voice a second time when he can so easily prevent it. So he stops her. It's what the Phantom Thieves would do. And things change... but not in a way that affects the flow of events in any profound way. Ann still stumbles after them into the Metaverse and finds the conviction to awaken her persona, somehow. He's not sure how it works out, but it does. What Akira does know is that fate is what you make of it. If he believes in his teammates, they'll end up where they need to be.

But for all of that, he still wavers as they're leaving the recording area. Up until now, the decisions to change things have been easy. Akechi, on the other hand... where to start? Is it even salvageable? Akira's not certain, but when he thinks of their last meeting in Shido's palace, Akechi's remark about the possibility of them meeting a few years earlier, the sounds of gunshots echoing from the other side of the bulkhead—he can't not try. It's not years, but maybe this handful of months will be enough.

Akira lets Ann go ahead with a nod, sliding his hands into his pockets as he tries to maintain his usual casual demeanor. Any moment now...
fabrications: = ɴᴇᴜᴛʀᴀʟ (ᴏɴᴇ track heart)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-01 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
So it is the glasses making him blush. That just inspires even more questions, though, but before he gets a chance to ask them Akira throws his earlier words back in his face and Akechi can only laugh in response.

"If my eyes start to go, I'll probably stick with contacts." Though his next comment only gets a grin from Akira. That's probably not an unfair comparison - Akechi's definitely too young to be an actual teacher - but that's not going to stop him from trying to turn it back on Akira. "Somehow I don't think you'll agree to calling me 'sensei', though."
fabrications: (ɪ·ᴍ now becoming)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-01 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
Even just hearing 'Akechi-san' from Akira is extremely strange to Akechi, to the point that it's bordering on unpleasant. He doesn't hesitate to shake his head.

"I don't think I'd like that, anyway." He slides the glasses off his face again, though for the moment he simply looks down at them with a faint smile instead of handing them back. "I like that you call me 'Goro'. Not many people do."
fabrications: (ɪ know exactly why)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-01 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Akechi may be a complete novice when it comes to things like friendship and caring about other people, but he's struck by the sheer wrongness of Akira's admission. His smiles fades, replaced by a frustrated frown. Akira is usually the one that reaches for him, but this time Akechi is one to grab Akira's upper arm to tug at him to stop and turn to face him.

"That's not true." Honesty and emotional openness are two things Akechi has always struggled with, and he probably always will. It's especially true in calm moments where there's nothing forcing him to lose his cool, like this one. His next words aren't easy, but he forces them out. It feels too important to leave unsaid. "You're the first person that's ever been close to me. No one else has even tried." That Akira only reached out once he already knew almost everything there is to know about Akechi doesn't diminish what he did. If anything, that just makes it even more significant. "There are plenty of events I would undo if I could, but... I'll never regret having you as my friend."
fabrications: (ʙᴜᴛ if i chose)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-02 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
In moments like these, when Akechi has dared to actually be open for a change, there's always a part of him that's tense and uneasy. He's eternally suspicious of the motivations of other people, and even when that other person is Akira he can't push that suspicion entirely aside.

It's a good thing that Akira's response does it for him. The smile and the simple thanks aren't much, but Akechi knows what they really mean.

On the other hand, he doesn't know what Akira's next words mean. Now it's his turn to blink, pulse quickening and his grip on Akira's arm tightening just slightly. While he's curious and excited, he can't help but sound mostly puzzled and a bit wary when he speaks. If he's a novice at friendship, then his experience with being more - whether in the sense of being family or something else - is so slim that he may as well have never heard of the concept.

"More...?"
fabrications: (ɪ·ᴍ now becoming)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-02 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
Akechi doesn't know what he's expecting, or how he'll react to any of the possible answers - but when Akira speaks and sends delight washing over him he can't imagine anything else that could have happened. His expression doesn't reflect his sudden surety, though. He looks shocked, which is quick to fade into a mixture of embarrassment, relief, and simple happiness. He drops his gaze and loosens his grip on Akira's arm, but he doesn't step back and he doesn't let go.

"Sometimes I still don't think I understand you." He sounds almost like he's talking to himself, but for once that's all he says on the subject. Dwelling on his own shortcomings suddenly doesn't seem necessary. "But I feel the same." He lifts his gaze again, body language and expression both relaxed. "I have for a while now."
fabrications: ~ sᴍᴜɢ (sᴏ i always act like i'm the best)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-02 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
So many thoughts that Akechi would normally keep at bay - like that Akira's grin is pretty cute - are impossible to keep back right now, so Akechi doesn't even try.

"I wasn't sure how to say it." Or if he should, though he's not going to say that part out loud. It feel silly to think he ever could have doubted Akira's response.

The reminder that they're blocking the sidewalk is enough to make Akechi's hand drift away from Akira's arm and his expression close off a little, his habit of preoccupation with his public image taking over. His smile doesn't fade, though, and when they continue walking he drifts a little closer to Akira than before. Now that he no longer feels pleasantly stuck in the moment, another habit has him trying to play off his embarrassment with humor - but there's no helping the light, almost giddy quality to his tone.

"I suppose it's lucky we're already going out tonight." Akechi has never been on a date in his life, but even he knows that Christmas Eve is something for couples.
fabrications: (ᴡʜᴀᴛ we are made of)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-02 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
Akechi, too, is taken by that urge, but he ends up shoving his hands in his pockets to counter it. Caring about something besides his image doesn't mean he's stopped caring about his image.

... It sure would be nice, though. Akechi is actually glad for the distraction that comes with answering Akira's question.

"It would be a waste not to, wouldn't it?" And while Akechi doesn't consider himself romantic, he still thinks the situation is too good to pass up. "And there's no sense in delaying if we don't have to." And maybe, just maybe, he's too excited by this new thing he suddenly has to not want to go all in.
fabrications: (ɪs the way we find out)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-02 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Despite his chattiness Akechi's never been one to complain about comfortable silences, but right now he feels especially content to let one settle over the two of them. He handles talking to the restaurant and getting themselves a spot in line (the hostess recognizes him, and he's privately hoping it might earn them slightly faster service) but after that he's only too happy to go right back to standing with Akira. He's glad he's thought to bring both of them coats, though.

The question catches Akechi off guard and leaves him feeling... he isn't sure. Not quite embarrassed, but maybe a bit shy. It's not something he's used to feeling, and he covers it up by looking thoughtful.

"Since the day we ran into each other outside the Diet building." The vagueness is partly to avoid saying anything sensitive in public and partly because pinpointing the exact moment is pretty difficult; so much had happened that day that retracing the path his emotional state took is tricky. Even if he could say when exactly he realized it, he's still not sure when it started. Much like Robin Hood, it had simply been there once he looked for it. And normally he might not admit to that, but now... "But it's hard to say. It doesn't feel like my thoughts on you have changed that much."
fabrications: (ᴀɴᴅ who i want to be)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-03 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
Even now that he's giving this honesty thing a shot, Akechi can't bring himself to admit to everything he felt back when they 'ran into each other'. The fear, the frustration, the uncertainty about his fate, the certainty that their friendship would end, and the haze of pain and adrenaline that had made everything seem more urgent in what was already a crisis.

"Probably not." The words might be harsh, but Akechi's tone is humored instead of cutting. "I didn't know what I thought of you for a while." That's why his interest had persisted for as long as it had. Akechi is used to being able to make an easy, immediate judgement on nearly everyone he meets - even the other Phantom Thieves. He's not above adjusting his judgements later, but Akira's the first person he's ever taken the time to figure out first. "Maybe it was just too gradual for me to realize."

The simmering resentment that's colored so many of his interactions with Akira certainly hadn't helped, but that's definitely not something he wants to bring up.
fabrications: - ɴᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ (ᴅᴏɴ·ᴛ want cash don't want card)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-03 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
Akira is right about Akechi's lack of experience, though it's closer to 'none' than 'not a ton'. He can't remember the last time he had feelings for someone that were more complicated than 'obnoxious, but useful'.

The admission that Akira hadn't been able to figure it out isn't something Akechi is expecting to hear, though.

"That's surprising." Especially considering that Akira's been working with a cheat sheet this whole time. "You're good at understanding other people, so it's hard to imagine you not noticing something about yourself."
fabrications: (ᴡʜᴀᴛ we are made of)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-03 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
It might not be intended as commentary on Akechi's viability as a romantic partner, but that's how he takes it. It doesn't upset him, though. He's almost psyched himself out of the friendship enough times, convinced he'd be set aside again, that knowing Akira hadn't originally considered him a candidate doesn't catch him off guard.

Especially not with the suspicions that Akechi has about what Akira may have experienced last time. Akechi had been planning to kill the Phantom Thieves before his affection for Akira shattered those plans to pieces, and he hasn't forgotten the desperate urgency with which he'd told himself, several times, to simply kill Akira anyway. He has a pretty good idea of what he might have done if their relationship had developed differently.

But now matter how curious he is he can't bring that up here. So he sidesteps the thought in favor of something more humorous for the moment.

"I can't imagine any of the others announced their intentions to hunt you down on national TV."
fabrications: (ᴡʜᴀᴛ we are made of)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-03 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Akechi suddenly realizes that as much as he knows how to joke and tease, he has no idea how to flirt. It's not a technique he's ever relied on, not even to build his public image. Which is unfortunate because this feels like a moment where it would really be appropriate bit...

Maybe another time. Akechi's at least good at keeping his expression in check, so he wears one of mild amusement that isn't at all reflective of his sudden battle with self-doubt.

"I should turn you into the police." They both know that's not going to happen, though, so Akechi doesn't feel weird about 'threatening' it. "But it seems more interesting to take matters into my own hands."
fabrications: (ᴛʜᴇʏ say a choice)

[personal profile] fabrications 2019-04-04 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
If Akechi had known it was there, there's not chance he'd joke about it. In fact, there's no chance they'd even be here right now. He'd have handcuffed Akira to his bed, but not in a fun way.

"Sometimes the unorthodox methods are more interesting." Especially when it comes to dealing with someone like Akira. Probably because he's the source of such unorthodox desires. "Don't think of it as bad influence, though. It's more like... you expanded my horizons."

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